5/9/2024 –
Psi vignettes:
My wife is telling me about her new coworker who is also super into Star Trek: Next Generation like her. What she’s actually telling me is that she’s from Brooklyn and people from Brooklyn are really into TV. I then get this image in my mind of this coworker rushing home from work in the midst of the crowded city and instantly wanting to pop on the TV. It’s like she’s gotten out of the real world as quickly as possible and has burrowed into her little den to escape the city. This makes sense to me in the vision but the second it recedes it no longer tracks at all. Isn’t the point to living in the city that there’s so much going on? Why would you pay all that money if all you want to do is watch TV? I suppose for certain people, this would make sense.
I’m staying with a woman I’m dating’s family in London. She’s this blonde woman with chin length hair I’d say roughly 10 years younger than me with a gaunt face and is for some reason wearing this very odd fantasy dress. It’s not too over the top but not something you’d see anyone wearing in most situations. It’s almost German Oktoberfest-y, but not quite. More colored satin. In fact, I’m staying with her, her mom, and her 2 sisters. Her 1 sister’s slightly more robust with dark curly hair and wearing a different colored variation of the same sort of dress.
She starts talking about how she lived in America for years and she can’t believe how different it is than the UK. I want to agree with this sentiment except when I start thinking about it I realize that, wait a minute, I’ve never actually been to the UK so I have zero clue. The fact that I’m currently living there in this scenario isn’t leading me to lucidity unfortunately so instead I offer a rant about how much different even a place like Ohio is from the West Coast.
We continue chatting and a third sister now enters the equation, also wearing a weird dress with a slightly different color. They sit across from me on this couch/bed hybrid piece of furniture which they keep leaning back on and I’m starting to notice that none of them are wearing underwear. Yep, I can absolutely see all of their vaginas and I’m very awkwardly trying to make it seem like I can’t. They watch me squirm for more than a while before they all break out laughing at me. I must confess that it is a funny prank.
5/10/2024 –
I’m hanging out in my childhood friend’s house again. Very strange how common it is that I end up here but I am in fact increasingly grokking the metaphor. They were very frugal people. Anyway, I’m hanging out in what used to be their amazingly messy work/spare room and there’s a sex worker in the corner. She’s this Latino woman wearing an orange string bikini that barely covers her modest but quite obviously fake boobs and I’m like:
“I don’t want her in here with me.”
So I pick her up as if she’s a cardboard cutout, then place her by the door, hiding her under all the other cardboard that needs to get taken out to the recycling. As I’m doing this though, I’m noticing that there are young people brazenly having sex right in the living room. It also seems like there are people going at it in the rec room as well. Huh.
I go back upstairs to the spare room space and my wife is now riding an exercise bike.
“There’s a bunch of people having sex out there.”
I tell her. She shrugs. It is supposed to hit near 80 in Seattle today for the first time in like 9 months. I imagine there will be a lot of people having sex out there.
Now a vision of a translucent church in the clouds. You can see the modest front steeple protruding through the phantom whisps of a cumulous island in the sky that it’s seemingly perched on. See through and seemingly crystalline, except quite clearly transcending traditional forms of matter. Not crystalline but crystalline psi energy. Same deal with the galactic colors reverberating through the thing. Not galactic at all. That’d be missing the point. Otherworldly art energy. Colors we can only see if we open our minds.
The next morning when I saw all the Aurora Borealis pictures on Instagram I was like, ahhh yeah, that tracks. Also, I really wish I would have found out about that more than a day in advance.
One more long dream sequence where I’m once again staying in this dorm. This goes on for a bit but the only thing I truly remember is waking up in my room. It’s late in the day and I’ve apparently pot napped most of it away, which I’m semi-regretting. I’m apparently sharing my dorm with this woman I honestly don’t get a great look at but who has a short round curly hair style and glasses. This handsome looking athletic advisor dude with piercing cheekbones and shortly cropped brown hair shows up at the open door.
“I’m heading to the massive pep rally event thing. Y’all coming?”
He’s really pushing it and my roommate and I are absolutely out on this thing. The handsome jock guy does not understand this position at all. I look out the window and see this huge stadium filling up and it’s Oklahoma specifically. The Sooners. Uhhh, sure. The guy’s being pushy so I eventually have to sort of clap back a bit.
“It’s just not my kind of thing man.”
He finally gives up and leaves us alone but I must admit. A part of me doesn’t understand why I’m not going and feels more than a bit guilty about sleeping the day away. What else did I have to do? Nothing and I know it. This is such a biting fucking commentary on my entire college experience it’s difficult to stomach if I’m being honest. I’m sort of tearing up writing it down. All that time, I had a fucked up auto immune disease/mood disorder and had no clue. I’m still not processing how much that influenced and continues to influence me to this day.
As far as the Oklahoma thing, the Thunder were playing today and lost. Maybe that’s why the depressed arty kids didn’t want to go to the rally. Those kids tend to be right about shit.
5/11/2024 –
We’re in the kitchen of my grandparent’s old place in the Columbia Gorge and my dad is sitting at a kitchen table that never existed reading the book Our Band Could Be Your Life. I can tell he’s doing this to connect with me, even though you know, I haven’t read the thing in over 20 years and didn’t think it was necessarily amazing in the first place. I do remember liking it for the most part and the chapter on the Butthole Surfers being the best one. I get up to accomplish some task and when I get back he’s telling me he loves the chapter on The New Pornographers and wonders if I’m super familiar with them. The answer to this question is:
“Vaguely. I had an album by them at one point 20 years ago and they’re almost more famous for their songs with Neko Case.”
The next thing I remember I’m back in the Invisible College in this new much more futuristic glowing crowded classroom scenario and predictably not super happy about it. Jesus fucking Christ, it never ends.
This leads to a liminal state experience where I’m picking apart the meaning of the scene with my dad. There’s a magick word hidden in there and I’ve got to dissect the metaphor until I find it. This sort of feels like unraveling digital puzzle art mind origami but I do find the magick word no problem. It’s hard to explain, but I absolutely know what they’re telling me here. I’m guess I need to start working on that.
コメント