6/30/2023 -
In this vision I'm presented with a question, which is in itself a metaphorical telepathic scenario. This character who I intuitively know is the protagonist of this scenario walks into a room. He has a problem to solve in this room and he manages to do it, seemingly effortlessly. Except that the question that I'm presented with is:
"Was this effortless?"
And now I'm getting an extended replay that goes past the surface level interpretation of what was going on here. You see, in this one dude lives like15 other ancestral spirits. This now all starts looking like a video games and it's as if the game has been paused to pull up its equivalent of a combat/options menu. There are all these other characters tied to the central character and he can essentially freeze time to gauge all of their opinions regarding how this scenario could be resolved. He gets to listen to multiple opinions and weigh the best options and of course a lot of these characters are wearing attire from well in the past. I seem to remember there being at least one powdered wig type looking dude, as well as a classic old timey British detective looking motherfucker.
As it turns out, the main protagonist didn't know how to resolve this situation at all, he consulted with his15 ancestral spirit guides and one of them in particular happened to be an expert on this exact type of situation. It was very much like a super power. And so the question is posed again in another form.
"Who really solved this problem?"
For the next several hours I'm flooded with hypnagogic imagery. I'm in some phantasmal nearly translucent room on the astral plane. It is between worlds. This is the white out space between space and honestly, it looks pretty fucking cool. Tons of prototypical crackling clear energy percolating through everything but the main thing is that the center of the white light room is filled with all these human shaped multi color portals. Each one is a vector to a psychedelic explosion of inner awe and yet, this is where they all connect. It really just feels like the character menu of the previous lesson plan run through the "awesome vibes" living art filter.
Eventually I end up in an extended dream. Remember how I was just told that on some level of reality I was like a hotel heir? I don't get it either but that's the dream. I'm staying in one European hotel for a long time, then I move on to another one. At first I'm confused because the architecture in the second hotel is very similar to the first but inverted. I eventually do remember though, oh yeah, that thing where we went from one hotel in one town to another hotel in another town.
Does anything interesting happen during this entire extended dream? Not really. At one point my entire perspective zooms out to this map level of reality and it's explained which European town we're staying in. One of them anyway. It is in central to eastern Europe and it is on a river, I believe a river valley. That's all I can bring back. Also, I really wanted to check out the cool pool this hotel supposedly has but I just can't seem to get there. I even found it at one point, but couldn't find the entrance. The only point seemed to be that my ancestral spirits somehow own psychic hotels where people can escape into the minds of exotic talking monkeys in beautiful hell. Somehow I'm involved with this because of my family but it bores the shit out of me. At least this world does. Nobody else even wanted to see the cool pool area and it was the only thing I cared about.
7/1/2023 -
I was mentally preoccupied with something so I slept worse on this night than nearly any in the recent past but I do somehow remember a few vignettes.
In this one, I walk up to a this balding slightly older looking white dude who seems important for whatever reason and he tells me that the first time my friend and I pulled up, he didn't really take us seriously. Then the next time we did, we were hotboxing the 70's style white sports sedan we rolled up in and he knew we meant business. I have a vision of this and it's one of those situations where you can't even see us inside the car until we open the windows and all the weed smoke billows out. Good times.
This all seems nonsensical but I think it's fairly hilariously referencing my new music project Hidden Extra Skull. Our second album is way more over the top stoner-y and I think that's a good look. Both should be out soon.
One other vignette. I've been driving this car for over a year and I suddenly realize I had all wheel drive the entire time, I just didn't know how to turn it on. I can't believe I'm such an idiot and I go around telling everyone how dumb I am. Jesus, I had all wheel drive in this car for an entire year before I even bothered to learn how to turn it on. That's it. That's the vision. In reality my wife did have a car with all wheel drive for a few years and I could barely tell the difference whether it was on or off. Probably a metaphor referencing the first car related vision I imagine. I don't think the all wheel drive thing is supposed to be literal.
7/2/2023 -
More of the prototypical hypnagogic thing where beings outside of human reality are guiding humans through the world of supposed corporeality. This is presented largely as a map of a world that they exist outside of yet control from this higher dimensional vantage point. Typical shit.
Anyway, this eventually congeals into this map of seemingly gridlocked traffic that I'm looking at from above. It almost looks like an entire midwestern state comprised of dense highway traffic. A bit cartoony too, not like real life and also none of it makes sense. The cars are just arranged in a bunch of square paths. If it were actual roads, no one would be getting anywhere. There is this illuminated rectangular section in the center of visionary scenario, and it's telepathically communicated to me somehow that this is like the Panama Canal. Things get backed up at this middle point and people have to really focus to navigate through it with all the other cars who are in this center swirling section at the same time. It is the passageway from one point in this nonsensical road map to another.
Then all of a sudden I've gone from outside the living diagram directly into it. I'm in the back seat of a car that a coworker of mine from years ago is driving. We're directly adjacent to the Panama Canal section of the traffic simulation and without intending to, she whips the wheel and we go speeding into it. She flies over a barrier to do this and we almost get in like 10 different wrecks before she finally stabilizes us unharmed.
"What the fuck? Why the hell did you do that? You could have gotten us and like another 100 people killed?"
When I think about who this coworker was, this all tracks. Clearly a metaphor about navigating from childhood to adulthood and how wrong that can go. She was a consistently miserable person who I know had a kid with a man she wasn't involved with at a very young age. Very interesting stuff. The thing is to, it's not like she did this on purpose. On an unconscious level, something in her malfunctioned and lead her to veer off the road uncontrollably. Ahh, the metaphors.
How about some more. Now back in one of my most common re-occurring scenarios. I'm at the Invisible College and there's this huge party of some sort. It's not the typical class thing, it's more fanfare. People are excited about something but I don't give a shit and I also know I don't have to be here. So I jet but it's in downtown Youngstown and I once again don't know which bus I need to take to get home.
Also, the neighborhood is extra sketchy this time so I know I can't walk. I'm looking at my phone but it obviously doesn't work. Neither can I read any the posted bus schedules. Here's honestly the only thing worth mentioning. I get it right. The second I can't pull up the bus schedule on my phone, I know I'm dreaming and the solution is to wake up. I've been through this so many times before. I just have to wake up, fuck finding the right bus. And yet, I do this and start sucking out of the dream but there's a barrier preventing me from leaving and? The barrier is me. I can feel it, and I know I've put this layer here preventing me from exiting the "find the right bus" scenario. It feels like a blue/grey barrier of microscopic cell walls made of cosmic consciousness dust. That's what's preventing me from waking up, and I put it there.
And so it goes on and on. At one point I get on what I pretty much know is the wrong bus solely because I'm bored and hey, yep, it's the one that takes me further and further from home. I keep trying to leave because I know I'm dreaming. I can't until eventually I can. If you tie the first liminal scenario to the second dream, it all very much tracks on a metaphorical level.
7/3/2023 -
Very short dream scenario riffing on a theme. I'm back in my old house in Ohio. My family has gotten me what seems like an early Christmas present and it comes in this huge Barbie package. Except that it's not a Barbie, it's an Amy, which is one of the other products in the same line. Internally I can see that she's like a less glammed out Barbie basically. A super pretty thin blonde woman but far less into the girly fashion bullshit. Everyone's super excited.
"Oh my god, you got an Amy!"
Now I'm having sex with my Amy. She's on top moaning and my family murders her. Except this is a surrealist murder and it's done with like a playing card with my murdered toy wife on it. There's a circled of blood around her image. I'm pretty what the fuck about all of this obviously but I know they didn't really murder her silly. It's just a practical joke they're playing on me. Hilarious.
I will never ever say that being married to a person on the autism spectrum is easy. Ahh ancestral spirits and their hilarious pranks. Later in a liminal state I'm reminded:
"It's a shitty fucking banana channel!"
Dark comedy all around down here. Dark fucking comedy.
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