8/14/2023 -
I'm taking a class in the Invisible College and there's this other guy in the same class that keeps trying to hang with me and I keep blowing him off. This is particularly odd because in this situation he's presented as a guy I went to high school with who I honestly didn't like that much. He bullied me a bit in middle school (one of the only times I was bullied honestly) but by the end of high school we were mostly straight.
But we're taking this class together and he really wants to be my friend. After this one class he comes over to again, try and pal around but I'm incredibly rude to him and he immediately calls me out on it. When he does I must concede.
"You know what? You're right man. I have been being an asshole to you and I owe you an explanation. It's not you, it's me. I fucking hate being here. It's like torture to me. I'm miserable. I hate all of this. I can't believe I'm still here taking these classes at this stupid school. I know you want to be all buddy buddy so we can coast through this class together and I get it, but I want absolutely nothing to do with any of this shit at this point."
We then start walking around the school and I confess to him that I'm finally graduating at the end of the quarter which is the only bright side I see in any of it. You can tell when I say this that he's a bit disappointed I'm leaving as he has to stick around another year at least. Now it's all making sense. He was latching onto me because I'm one of the few older kids still lingering in the Invisible College and he's also on the older side. It now tracks and I feel like I can connect to him.
"You know how even this year being here has started getting a bit awkward because you're older than nearly everyone else? Try sticking around another 2 years. It just keeps getting more and more awkward and weird. It's fucking unbearable."
I hope this is a teaching moment and he seems to understand what I'm getting at. Graduate as soon as you possibly can. It's funny because I was shown a while back that there were now entities helping me pass these classes in the Invisible College and I hope I wasn't being a total asshole to this dude who's supposed to be helping me. Who knows. Hopefully he's learned something.
Later in the night I'm now in the classic, I'm still in my old basement apartment scenario and I'm frantically trying to pack up things to leave. I finally get everything I need and then realize I have to drive somewhere but my wife has taken both of our cars. And so I need the old band van which I grab from outside our old place. I start driving the thing around and then realize it has low tire pressure so I'm going to have to get the tires filled. For some reason this involves going back to the old basement apartment, yet again.
I somehow actually pull the van into the basement apartment and start loading it up, the whole time concerned that the new resident is going to walk in and just as I'm heading out he does. But he's once again super cool about it and is loading things in through this secret side loading door as I'm loading things out. The one difference here is that he's getting back from a day of doing what seems like some sort of fairly intensive outdoor blue collar work and he's got several working breed dogs with him as well. That's basically it and not super interesting at all by my own admission.
8/15/2023 -
First the hypnagogic visions of arty black masks. I'm in a disembodied god like state and I'm selecting the proper arty black masks to apply to certain entities in certain scenarios. None of these entities seem remotely human so I suppose that's what the masks are for.
Next, it feels like it's been a while since I have had a vignettes type dream experience, so here we go:
Despite being a floating form of consciousness, I am somehow also the R & B act Tony! Toni! Tone! In this TTT state I'm shifting through a series of completely empty yet much older coliseums and ballrooms, and when I say older I'm talking Roman Empire type shit. All very European looking.
I'm at the small town newspaper that was just illegally raided by the cops and for some reason we're considered a bottling operation. And yet the visual I'm getting doesn't match this internal designation at all as we're unpacking fancy glass beer steins from cardboard boxes.
I know I'm not entirely awake but I'm lying in bed and my wife is for some reason not only awake but cooking in a kitchen near where I'm sleeping. I will myself to get out of bed in my underwear and dance erratically holding a light gray orb, that's sort of like those exercise balls but smaller. I dance and dance in increasingly ridiculous fashion trying to get my wife's attention but she's not buying it as she's too focused on cooking.
Now I'm back lying in the same bed and there's this old time-y, very European looking city outside my window. I suddenly know that I'm dreaming and decide I'm going to go explore this city. So I fly out the window and am mildly impressed with the scene, even though I legit don't like old time-y anything.
And yet, I know that I'm dreaming so I remember some of the lucidity exercises I've been taught, although I don't think they'll work. It just doesn't seem like I'm in a deep enough dream state to hold together. I am right. I start pulling myself outside of what's doubling as my body as I've been shown and I do start feeling a pull toward some sort of conclusion but the dream world is too fragile and fades very quickly, as expected.
I'm hanging out with my family in this spectral house in this study/office room that has a huge window as an entire side of the room. We're watching all these kids play baseball outside and just as I'm thinking:
"Wait, isn't playing baseball right next to a huge window sort of a recipe for disaster."
A kid tries to throw someone out at home plate and accidentally throws it right into the ginormous window, shattering a piece of it. As we clean up the mess I'm really tripped out by the fact that this happened at the exact moment I was contemplating the possibility of exactly this happening and I keep telling my family about it.
"I just can't believe that I was thinking about someone breaking that window with a baseball at the precise moment someone broke that window with a baseball."
No one seems to care other than me.
8/16/2023 -
Lots of hypnagogic imagery and chatter involving the Invisible College history class I'm taking and yet, despite desperately wanting intel on this, I couldn't really make sense of most of it. I slipped into several deep dreams that were probably explaining it but were also beyond my human level of comprehension.
Outside of that, one sort of funny dream. First I'm Spider Man living in a Spider Man video game. The location is this large warehouse facility and I'm helping this short scientist woman with shoulder length black curly hair wearing a lab coat with an experiment that seems to involve shooting some sort of science ray device. Something unexpected happens with this experiment and it makes a mess all over the floor so I leave to go find supplies to clean it up.
As I'm walking through this warehouse to find cleaning supplies I walk by Curt Connors in human form also wearing a lab coat and I'm like:
"Ahh, that's clearly the villain here."
But he's still in human form and so I walk around a corner and suddenly the game's upbeat action music is playing but I don't understand why. Is there some danger I'm supposed to be addressing? Did Connors turn into Lizard Man? The music is indicating as much but I can't see anything off. So I walk back to where I left the scientist and the mess and nothing's off there either, but I also forgot the cleaning supplies I was supposed to be getting and the mess is right where I left it.
Now I'm somehow in a fancy hotel in a room right next to a therapist, who's this white dude with longish graying hair and a beard, dressed in a suit. I pop in for a session which seems like it lasts for at least a half hour but I remember absolutely nothing about what was discussed.
I eventually have to go to the bathroom so I pop out and I come back in and sit down on the couch only to realize that he's hypnotized someone else while I was gone and is in the middle of another session. I come very close to accidentally sitting on the hypnotized person on the couch and I am super embarrassed by this and apologize profusely.
I then head back to my room and marvel at the cool I'd say roughly10th floor view of some unspecified downtown area. A lot of the buildings are under construction and are under these huge tarps with bright futuristic looking blue logos on them. That's different. It's also different that apparently my wife and I have separate rooms. Normally if we travel we get a suite with two rooms because of our sleep differences but I suppose we just sprung for separate rooms this time.
I have no idea how, but I now somehow walk out the side of the room and into a shopping mall. I'm just standing there minding my own business but there's this woman walking through the mall in her nursing scrubs with her boyfriend or husband or whatever. He suddenly runs into one of his bros and heads over to loudly discuss sports. They are very over the top and animated in their sports riffing and after 5 minutes or so the lady gets pissed.
"Guys, we're out in public and you're making asses out of yourselves. This is not the time or the place to be having a super overly dramatic sports discussion."
I'm paraphrasing but I'm standing right there, pretending to tie my shoes while laughing my ass off. She's basically treating these grown ass men like they're little kids and they were admittedly being sort of obnoxious but I wasn't bothered by it or anything. The whole scene is so funny to me though that I wake up laughing.
8/17/2023 -
I've been talking about how a lot of what's going on in my dream life transcends my ability to construct it in human narrative terms and this would be another example. I pull out of this experience and all I can say is that it was some sort of a chase scene where I am both the thing that's being chased and the pursuer. As to what the fuck I am? It's like an odd surrealist space ship in the center with two brown solid streaks of mass traveling equidistant to it on the sides. I'd say it's almost like the masses on either side of the spaceships represent the fact that in a way both vehicles are phasing through what we would consider solid matter. Again, impossible to put into words and even that final chase sequence is all I can construct into anything tangible in this world.
Before I wake up I do have another dream and it's weird. My mom is hosting Thanksgiving at her old place on Beacon Hill and her friend, who's this average looking white guy with floppy brown hair, shows up with Steven Colbert, who's apparently his boyfriend in this situation. They've also shown up very early to this Thanksgiving dinner for whatever reason. Why I'm there so early I have no idea either.
Us just sort of hanging out feels like it lasts for a very long time and the main thing that's interesting about it is that SC is so much different in person in this situation than he is on TV. He's very reserved, seemingly somber, and honestly, I don't think he makes a joke or says anything funny the entire time. At one point he's upstairs having a very serious sounding conversation about what to do with his career with his boyfriend (he's straight in actual life). Also, the whole thing's a bit awkward because I want to talk to him about his work and how I'm a fan and yet, I legitimately haven't watched anything he's done in roughly a decade. Ever since he left Comedy Central honestly and I somehow know this in the dream. Obviously I don't want to bring this up because it's kind of insulting. Like, oh yeah, I used to watch your show 10 years ago but I totally lost track of it.
Eventually I start considering whether or not I should at least get a selfie because I realize that no one would probably believe me if I don't have one but I don't actually make a decision on whether or not to ask him for one. Instead I try to take out the recycling for my mom and can't find the recycling bin, which starts to annoy me.
"Mom, where the fuck did you put the recycling bin?"
I eventually find it and my entire family also eventually shows up and that's about it. If I had to offer some sort of commentary on this dream, it'd be that I am vastly different in person than what you get from my writing and music. There's humor in what I do but you know, I'm not a humor writer. My music is mostly rather serious sounding as well. If you hang out with me in person though, I'm the goofiest motherfucker on the planet. So sort of the opposite of this dream Colbert scenario. I do have an album coming out soon that shows this ridiculous side of myself that I was just contemplating the other day so...I guess that's what this was referencing metaphorically.
I will also say that most of the time when celebrities show up in my dreams I have some sort of idea as to why but with Colbert? No clue. I haven't watched the guy's show in roughly a decade and I don't remember seeing anything about him on the internet recently either. Very very random.
While you're here, do you like psychedelic industrial noise rock? Of course you do.
Comments