9/20/2023 -
I'm on a trip with some acquaintances from high school that I haven't honestly thought about in years. We're headed out of town for the weekend to this smaller college town in another state but why we're doing this I haven't a clue. I get the vibe it has more to do with them than me but when we get there things immediately get a bit weird. It's like we've suddenly entered a 1950's universe and we're all sitting on our classic cars out in the parking lot of some soda fountain diner. I'm like the Fonz and all these women in poodle skirts are crowding around me, hanging off my every word.
Eventually one of these women with a very round face separates me from the crowd. Once this happens the 50's vibes are completely gone and we're just having an outdoor meal together in a park but the entire time I'm thinking about whether or not I actually want to cheat on my wife with this woman, or why I'm doing this at all honestly. We're at a table outside but suddenly we're in what appears to be like a college dinning hall. Eventually she gets up to talk to some other people and I'm once again contemplating whether or not I actually want to cheat on my wife. I mean, I'm out of town for the weekend I suppose but also, the woman isn't particularly interesting or attractive so...uhhh...why?
I never come to any conclusion here but as it turns out, I don't have to because after a while the woman essentially ditches me and I lose track of her in the crowd. I'm not remotely disappointed but I do realize that I was wearing my wedding ring the entire time, which maybe she picked up on. A lot more happens after this point but all of it's boring. The only other thing I remember is that at one point I'm in a crowded kitchen with all these overweight men who are about to start a poker game. Before they do, they decide that it's going to be a shirts and skins poker game. As more overweight bros crowd into the room I think to myself:
"Holy crap I've got to get out of here."
And now I understand why I was flirting with women I didn't even want to sleep with. Anything's better than this. In a way all of this seems meaningless, in another way it's sort of an accurate summation of why I've become increasingly introverted over the years. I'm married so I can't hit on women and hanging out with bros doing typical bro things doesn't really appeal to me either. Such is the nature of life.
9/21/2023 -
I'm hovering above my body and I'm this awesomely surrealist sentient solar energy being who is well aware of the fact that it's only inhabiting a human body temporarily.
Typical shit in my world but as usual, there is a more focused message, which is? My ability to separate myself from myself in such a manner allows me to call bullshit on my own bullshit in ways most other people simply aren't capable of. Fair point and Robert Anton Wilson used to refer to this as intelligence squared, referencing Timothy Leary but putting an entirely different spin on his concept.
Then the party dreams. I'm hanging out with an old roommate I had in college and we're at this huge outdoor patio bar area in the midst of a bustling unidentified city. The guy wants to throw a few back but I'm reluctant because it's Sunday and I genuinely hate riding into the work week with alcohol in my system. With my Hashimoto's disease, this never does work out well. I basically only drink if I have a few extra hours to sleep it off as my body doesn't process alcohol properly.
But he convinces me to have at least one beer and so we're sitting there just enjoying the people watching and towering architectural wonders around us. I'm talked into having at least one more and when I hit up the glass covered outdoor bar, the guy handing me a drink informs me that shittons of people are currently slowly migrating over here from the recently wrapped up Modest Mouse show.
I head back and tell my friends the news and the guy who insisted on this excursion's all like:
"See, this was the absolute perfect Sunday evening to drink at this exact bar!"
I get the vibe he's single.
In the next scenario I'm like the companion of this overweight almost Italian gangster looking guy with curly brown hair wearing a black sport jacket with no tie. He's trying to sell me on the experience of sitting next to him while he gambles, like I'm a good luck charm or some shit. I don't entirely get it at all and I do find it boring as I'm not into gambling but at the end when he goes to cash in, he hands me way more money than I was expecting, not that I was really expecting anything at all. I am in fact sort of taken aback. I suppose I can absolutely see why I'd be this guy's good luck charm. Is this roughly how my psi abilities will be used in the future? Possibly.
9/22/2023 -
More visionary vignettes:
- I'm at an outdoor family pool party/gathering type sitch. There's a glass enclosed sun room that several people in the fam are hanging out in, seemingly having breakfast and playing some sort of board game. I leave this area and head out by the concrete pool area. Several kids jump in and start playing around. I take off my shirt and immediately realize that, yeah, holy shit, I finally got rid of that embarrassing back tattoo. I can just take my shirt off now and not think about it.
But as I'm standing in the sun I also realize that I don't really want to go swimming with a bunch of screaming kids. So I head back into the adult's sun room and my dad is all:
"I thought you were going to go swimming?"
And I'm like:
"Nah, I was just going to change my shirt."
I'm lying. This seems random but before I got my tattoo covered up I jokingly promised that I was going to go swimming at every opportunity I ever had from then on. I absolutely have not followed through with this. There was a pool in the hotel in Wenatchee we stayed at but it was a pretty crappy indoor pool. Same thing in Astoria. Lots of kids playing around? Also yes. When we went to Vancouver it wasn't nearly warm enough to go swimming in their outdoor pool, which was in fact very nice. Next time definitely.
- There is a blonde attractive early 50's looking woman in an fancy white dress sitting across the table from me diagonally to my right at what seems like some sort of upscale event. She's trying to remember the name of a particular actress and I interject with an incorrect answer. My wife lightly slaps my hand and scolds me:
"She said from the show Wandavision, idiot!"
Oh yeah. It's at this point that I realize I've been falling in and out consciousness and absolutely was not listening to what the woman was saying. I seemingly interjected while pulling out of a dream state.
Here's where it gets fascinating. I now realize that I've been falling asleep on and off right at the table the entire time and I start wondering to myself.
"Do I have narcolepsy?"
I don't have time to contemplate it much though before an unidentified man taps me on my shoulder.
"You're in the worst place to sit dude. They're right about to start announcing all these prize giveaways. A lot of those are bikes and you're going to be expected to roll them over to the kids that win them."
I look behind me.
"Hmmm, yeah. I guess that'll at least keep me awake."
- Tom Brady is helping market a new product that's called something like: Good Habits Golf. As far as I can tell this is like croquet in a way, in that it's a golf-esque game that you can set up in any grassy area simply by putting these targets on the ground. The targets look like these upside down bowls that have almost like a wicker basket design with sections of the wicker calculatedly left out, I suppose so you could hit some sort of ball through the slots. Sort of half filled in and half empty space wicker looking upside down bowls that absolutely aren't made of wicker material. I leave having no idea how this game is played. Maybe it's a golf training tool? One can only wonder.
- I'm seemingly in some sort of leadership position involving a TV show at HBO in a nice hotel room. I do not remember at all what is discussed in this meeting at all but when it ends I'm left in the room with this slightly taller and thicker blonde guy with short hair and a well cropped medium length beard wearing a casual tan colored outfit. Everyone else leaves and I'm filling out who I should bill some of the things discussed in the meeting to and I almost accidentally book it to Tony Soprano.
When I do this I look at the guy and tell him and we both start laughing hysterically. I get the vibe we're really high.
"I mean, it'd be James Gandolfini right? But even he's dead!"
We continue to laugh. The suits in Hollywood are soulless pieces of shit. Might as well be Tony Soprano, you know?
- I have so many FSOL albums at this point that I've sort of lost track of them for a while but in a dream I'm listening to one of their latest and it's tits. Some of the best pulsing electronic psych swath goodness my unconscious states have spontaneously created. Crap, I'm gonna have to bite and dig into their recent releases now, aren't I? It's been a few years.
5/23/2023 -
My wife and I are in a fancy hotel room sitting on a bed with shiny metal reflective trim. The sun is beaming through the windows and it's like we're conjoined energetically through black energy portals on our backs. There are two different paths this reality can take, one on the left side of the bed, one to the right. Both are equally excellent but one won't work within the parameters of this reality's narrative rulebook. There's this border of scissor cut out guidelines surrounding the right bed option. It's cool but in this situation, the left one is the only one that's going to work.
Variations exploring this theme go on forever, always with my wife and I conjoined at the back via dark mist ports with angelick glowing energy flowing freely through us due to the connection. My recall eventually returns and I'm in a basement classroom in what seems like a New York City. Very Welcome Back Carter vibes to the whole thing. We're all waiting for the professor to stroll down from the city streets into our underground college but he hasn't shown up. Nobody knows if he's even going to and everyone's getting irritated but I'm all:
"Fuck it, I'm out of here!"
I know I don't even need this freaking class. I grab a pamphlet as I'm walking out the door that seems like a green colored show poster and head back to the hotel with my wife. It's a much more modest hotel room this time. When I look at the pamphlet I grabbed on my way out of class, it's just a room service menu. Lol. Glad I didn't stick around.
I wake up in the middle of the night, get baked, and head back under. I'm ganj--i-tating on the cover version of the song It's Gonna Take An Airplane by Destroyer I want to record when I start slipping between worlds. I am sound itself. Graceful smoke filled light energy pleasantly floating upward into the consciousness of an older man who's absorbing the sonic flow directly from the mind of a teenager through his car stereo.
But the bliss is disrupted. There's an older surly looking balding white dude with alcohol ravaged skin dressed about as blandly as a white person can possibly dress standing not that far away from the midsized truck I now realized I'm sitting in at the side of the residential street.
Why is this making me paranoid? Oh yeah, I sold the kid the drugs that are leading to this glorious telepathic exchange of sound coming through my truck's stereo because he was only 19. The square guy starts walking away and I'm relieved. Then he starts walking back in my direction on the other side of the road and I'm once again annoyed. This whole thing absolutely brings back flashbacks of days gone by. Smoking pot and rocking out in your car only to get buzzkilled by random passers by you thought looked suspicious. I mean, when I was in high school you basically had to go drive around to smoke weed half the time. Strange nostalgia with that vision for reals.
Also, the fact that up until you're 21 you still do need an illicit hook up to buy weed in legal states hadn't crossed my mind much. Should that be lowered to18? Probably. Booze too. Main point being who are we kidding thinking we're stopping kids from getting the shit in the first place. Why the charade?
While you're here, do you like psychedelic industrial noise rock? Of course you do.
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