8/20/2023 -
In this scenario I wake up in my brother's car as he's driving to work and pretty much immediately I'm like:
"Dude, you're supposed to be taking me to work but you just blew way past the exit you were supposed to take."
And he's all:
"Well, it's too late now so I guess you'll have to come to work with me. As a matter of fact, I have something at my job that I'd like you to take a look at."
I'm not super happy about this arrangement but I don't have any choice. He then proceeds to drive to his office in some non-existent industrial area of south Seattle, slightly north of where Boeing field would typically be. When we get there it's in this incredibly run down building and I can tell it's in some sort of social services capacity. I actually even have a conversation with one of the employees who tells me that because they're unionized they get treated way better than I do in bland ass corporate-ville. This all makes real world sense.
What doesn't is the thing my brother wanted me to take a look at, which is as far as I can tell some sort of probability machine. I feel like I say this a lot, but I'll try and explain it to the best of my abilities. So my brother has this kid he's supposed to be helping and he has this kid pick out some varied food items, which all kind of look like amorphous chunky brown slop to me. Once this snack is chosen, they then put it on this white vibrating machine that almost looks like the top of a dryer but with a rich topography rather than flat metal. It then starts vibrating and the food selection chooses a very specific path through the hills and valleys of the machine's top, which apparently represents aspects of the kid's potential future.
I am very confused but for a second I think I know why my brother wanted me to look at this. He thinks that possibly I could manipulate the probability machine with my wizardry. I fixate on the thing and I'm pretty sure he's right. Why? Because a part of me knows that I'm dreaming and that part of me also knows that I could essentially make this thing do whatever I want it to. Soooo close, but no, this knowledge does not make me go lucid. Instead, my brother quickly runs out of time in this session and is whisked away.
Now for what seems like forever I'm just stuck in this peculiar run down industrial office setting with nothing to do, desperately wanting someone to take me to a bus stop so I can get to work. Of course my cell phone keeps feeding me bad data I can't pin down because it always does in these situations and my brother is continually too busy to take me. Eventually a couple of younger black guys that work with him come out to tell me that they think there are plenty of bus stops outside and I take their advice but nope. I keep wandering and wandering and I cannot find a bus stop at all.
This is long and boring and it's like I'm in a much smaller rural town. Eventually I do find a bus and even though I'm almost sure it's the wrong one, I get on because I so desperately just want to find a bus. Unfortunately I quickly realize that my instincts were right. This seems like a Christian tour bus that's headed for the sticks rather than back into the city.
I gotta be honest, I have these "can't find the right bus" dreams all the time and I believe I'm starting to get it to an extent. There's a difference between having your own car and relying on the bus. I think a lot of times people want their lives to go in different directions but they don't have their own car in a spiritual sense. They have have no clue how to latch onto the right ride. Sometimes they're so sick of waiting that they'll take the wrong bus, even when they know it's wrong deep down. They just want to go somewhere. I admittedly have felt a bit lost for years and I think the message is: Even if you're bored and lost, don't get on the wrong bus. That's just going to make it worse.
8/21/2023 -
I have this hypnagogic vision where there's a feature on my car key fob that summons a spear. That's pretty much it. When I hit a button on my car's key fob, a white spear with a red tip immediately flies into my hand. I'm playing around with this feature for a bit before I sit in my ride and start contemplating it more. But like, is there more than one spear? Can I summon it when I'm sitting inside the car? If I summon it once, can it be summoned again?
This line of questioning breaks the spell but in a very odd way. I'm suddenly very aware of why the imaginal realms are superior to the prisons of our waking life. We have to contemplate the boring tedium and impracticality of such ideas here. There they just work and can be absolutely anything, like a key fob that summons a spear for no real reason. There doesn't have to be a reason, anything is possible. Again, just a very succinct vision illustrating an very poignant reality.
For the rest of the night it seems very much like I should remember a lot of dream experiences but all I remember is this. I'm in my grandparent's old sun room in the Bay Area and there's a ceremony of sorts going on. My musician uncle has a gift for me that he presents in a ritualistic fashion. He's giving me 2 sets of leather almost Birkenstock style open toed shoes. One is gray leather and the other is brown leather. This is the gift.
When I pull out of this vision I am told that this side of the family was far more evolved or advanced than the other side of my family or something to that effect. It is in fact where the crazy in me comes from and the creativity with it. Also, the other side of the family is far more successful financially, which is I believe the point. This side understood that our society is bullshit in a way the other didn't. As for the different colored shoes? I get the vibe that this has to do with my depressive mental states, which is again, the part of me that calls bullshit on consumerism. They weren't super nice shoes but they did look comfortable. I believe this is yet another reference to the Barbie movie, this time after I watched it unlike the precog visions from a few night's prior. Yet another variation on:
"Take the red pill!"
8/22/2023 -
While drifting into hypnagogic bliss my entire field of consciousness turns into this cutesy old timey forest animation style. I would say it's almost a British variety but I am no expert on such things. Sort of Beatrix Potter-esque in a way but I'd say slightly more brightly colored and whimsical. What's funny is that this is the exact sort of art I'm not a fan of but here I'm mostly cool with it. I concede that if I was watching an arthouse film and there were cut scenes in this animation style I'd mostly think it was interesting.
Much later in the night I have a dream where I'm collecting the mail at this old apartment style mailbox I have in the lobby of this run down building. What's interesting here is that in the dream I absolutely remember this mailbox and I wonder why I haven't checked it in so long. Have I had dreams about this that I've forgotten or is the nostalgia for this spontaneously generated? No idea. What I do know is that it takes me a while to get the thing open. I have the key but it's like you open one compartment to get to all the individual bins, then you have to navigate to your specific bin. It looks like no one has opened this thing in months and there are spiderwebs and spiders living in the mail compartment that I have to clear out.
I do finally manage to get the box open though and holy shit. Someone sent me some awesome Star Wars merch. There are these 2 cool looking palm sized spaceships and some documentation to go with them. If I'm being honest, they sort of look like the graphics I've seen so far for Starfield rather than Star Wars, but I'm super excited about getting out of the run down building and to a place where I can properly access my score. As I'm contemplating this though, I can tell that there's a supermarket next to the run down building that's being invaded by a group of men all wearing the same white uniform with round red helmets. Almost like Devo in the Whip It video if they were wearing all white and their helmets were round.
So I bolt out the other door of the building and onto the street, unsure if these guys are going to be a threat. It seems like I can avoid them by walking away from the store and that's about where the dream fades out.
Now I have a vision of some ridiculous new home security device. With a touch of a button, you can zap anyone at your door's ankles, which incapacitates their legs as far as I can tell. These electrical beams shoot out of the door frame near the floor and zap the person's ankles but I get the vibe it's not doing any permanent damage, just paralyzing their legs. Okay then.
One more thing. At some point during the night I get sort of an apology from the gods. They're telling me that my life involves a lot of generational themes that need to be rectified which absolutely matches my dream life. They're sorry about this because they realize repairing the flaws in various generational/ancestral narratives is often boring and they inform me that not all incarnated lives involve this sort of thing. I have no idea if this applies to only the human dimension or other realities in the infinite multiverse of consciousness but yeah, I mean, in my world most of the things I have to do for my ancestral spirits are in fact absolute snoresville. That much I can confirm.
While you're here, do you like psychedelic industrial noise rock? Of course you do.
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