6/29/2024 –
This night starts off very cool. I’m in my old basement apartment and there’s this awesome array of windows that has this impossible view into the yard. Like, you see into all the anthills and curves in the soil somehow and as the sun that you can feel beneath your skin is setting it’s absolutely stunning. My schizophrenic brother is there when I realize that wait a minute. None of this makes any sense. Clearly some subconscious part of me created the bitchin’ view of the fenced in lawn so I turn to him like:
“Did you see this window array I made?”
He’s looking and responding exactly like he does in waking life, which means acknowledging what’s being said while remaining completely incoherent as he utters sophisticated gibberish at me. He seems to be enjoying the view at least.
This scenario shifts a couple of times with me showing him odd shit I’ve created and him acknowledging that he appreciates it in the best way he can. The exact disconnect between the two of us brought on from existing in completely different worlds all together exists here in pretty much the exact way it does on the other side of sleep. Eventually I fully realize that I’m controlling an astral environment and am all:
“Check this shit out!”
And with that I conjure forth this crazy galactic Ooort cloud configuration map. I look at my bro like:
“Pretty cool right?”
He seems vaguely amused and when I look back at the thing I almost agree with him. I’m mean, it’s an arty looking vibrantly colored galaxy map but you know, it could certainly be more eye popping. It could use some more ‘zazz. Too much dense dark energy. Needs more psychedelic colors explosions.
And yet, rather than injecting the sizzle I think it requires to achieve excellence I instead get caught up on how I know that I’m dreaming. I’m not just supposed to be creating these portals, I’m also supposed to be warping into them, which I do and there’s this odd animation sequence where I’m energetically sucked into this dark energy holding the galaxial components together.
This is exactly when everything turns. The rest of the night is filled with the most annoying “why am I in my old basement apartment?” dreams imaginable and not once does this bring me to lucidity. Typical: I got drunk up north and left my car up there themes. At one point the apartment keeps dividing and I’m in a cityscape that I absolutely know isn’t something that exists in the skin world. It feels like a weird ass video game but nope. I do not go lucid.
In hypnagogia I’m even told that I failed and I know. I keep waking up and each time I’m like:
“How can I be this dense. It’s nuts.”
And it just keeps happening.
In a waking state I get it though. Waking up in my low rent old pad is both a metaphor and a lucidity trigger. They intentionally upped the difficulty on the lucidity trigger front in order to emphasize the underlying theme and I absolutely get what they’re telling me. Moreover, I created a galaxy that I didn’t think was cool enough, then warped myself into it and yeah, it wasn’t fucking cool enough. I get there’s a metaphor there but also maybe a lesson. Like, maybe finish the underlying concept of the thing you’re working on before you completely immerse yourself in it. Also, why did I warp myself into it if I didn’t think it was fully excellent? Did I have to see it on the ground level to know what needs to change? It was in fact way too hard to go lucid in that universe. Layers within goddamn layers my friends.
6/30/2024 –
A vision of cartoon gecko skeleton lying in bed in the exact position I was currently lying in bed in (which was on my side), except that rather than a bed, it’s floating in a black void. Is it even a skeleton of a cartoon gecko? I have no idea but it feels very much alive despite being a skeleton and is riding a bliss/sleep state. As I pull out of the vision and contemplate it, the phrase:
“Ghosts of the present.”
Pops into my mind. Uhhh. I genuinely don’t have much of an interpretation of this.
This leads to a dream where shocker, I’m in school once again and very much fed up with being in school once again. The difference here is that there’s some school official, who’s a black woman, who’s been ousted and we all think this is bullshit. She’s sort of saying her final goodbyes to the class as we’re all contemplating how stupid her ouster is.
It’s at this point that I’m looking around the class and realizing that it’s the exact same students it’s always been. I tend to think I’m too old for school but these are the same classmates I’ve had every year and this has been going on forever. I legitimately think about the show Head of the Class from my youth and how they had to write a scenario where the same students were in the same class and had the same teacher year after year, despite you know, that not being how school typically works. So I’m just another recurring character in this class, which is really like a show? This is what I’m thinking to myself as the dream fades.
7/1/2024 –
I only remember a couple brief parts of this night of dreaming. In the first I’m at like a hotel party where we walk down the hall and we’re now in these unknown people’s room. They seem a bit younger than me and the only one I remember is this girl with loose brightly colored casual clothes and a short mop of blonde hair. I can tell these are heavy smokers and as their loading a bunch of new bowls she asks if I have any and I’m all:
“I gotta be honest, I didn’t know we were having a smoke out so I didn’t bring any weed.”
She’s says its totes okay but I do feel slightly guilty. So I start digging in my pockets and realize that I do have some loose buds in their for unknown reasons. I’d say this doesn’t make sense but in the days of edibles I rarely do have weed and a pipe on me at this point. I’m going to a 4th of July barbecue in a few days so you know, noted.
In another dream I’m hanging with this cute gay couple and cute not necessarily in the sexual attractiveness department but rather in how adorably affectionate and effeminate they are. At one point I’m catching up to them as we’re heading to some sort of destination downtown, when one of them mentions that the other has been reading my books.
Eventually we catch up to him and the book he’s got has all these scrap book style pictures and stuff about Black Science in it that I’ve absolutely never written about. He’s all impressed that we played the Capitol Hill Block Party and I’m all:
“Yeah, remember back when psych rock was briefly trendy in the late 2000’s/early 2010’s. That was weird, huh?”
They do in fact remember. When I wake up though I’m like:
“Black Science never played the Capitol Hill Block Party.”
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