1/27/2023 –
I was playing the Cyberpunk Phantom Liberty expansion for a few hours before going to bed and there are multiple paths you can take in just that expansion. I finished one, then went back to see what happened if you made the alternate choice but haven’t gotten very far on that path yet. Anyway, this lead to an otherworldly dream bombardment on the same theme. I’m taking a very specific very Cyberpunk-y path through this alternate realm on the astral plane. Then I woke up briefly and when I got back under it was like:
“Ok now, let’s see what would have happened if you made the other choice.”
Both of these were exhilarating and with the first alternate ending, it was like I was being pulled magnetically through this consciousness fragmenting experience by this blue energy force at the end. In the second one, it was the same magnetic pull but from a yellow energy source. What’s significant is the feeling. Even though what was going on here was impossible to put into human terms or memory recall, it’s the feeling that distinguishes it from skin world art. Even though I can’t remember it, I can feel the rain on my skin as I race through the city. I can feel the anticipation of excitement and release like I’m riding a roller coaster. My Xbox is a long way away from being able to accomplish this.
There seemed to be a very distinct point in regards to alternate paths you can take in life, which is something they’ve shown me before. Games like these are but a metaphor for that larger reality, which is why we make them this way on an unconscious level. Got it.
Later in dream world it’s pretty boring honestly. I’m at some sort of vacation gathering where I’m sharing a room with several other people and it’s the typical thing where I’m phasing in and out of sleep states going dream within a dream constantly. Eventually I get up an realize there are all these huge couches in the living room and I’m sharing this room with a gay couple so I’m like:
“Why don’t I just sleep out here.”
And they’re like:
“Yeah.”
Then it’s the next day and I’m trying to head out but it’s getting to be evening and all these other kids have showed up to party. I look at this other guy, who’s the most random person from my high school imaginable, and he agrees. He’s quite wealthy these days and we should just jet. We’re both drinking red wine and I find this odd because I rarely drink on Sundays. We finish up our glasses and finally leave. The most compelling part about any of this is that when I wake up I can taste the red wine in my mouth. In fact, after a few minutes, it’s me realizing that I wasn’t actually drinking red wine that makes the distinct aftertaste subside immediately. Oh what the imagination can do.
1/28/2023 –
Ahh when things get more surreal than real, more inhuman than human. Here I wake up floating out of my body in this explosive bliss state. I’d played through a couple different video game endings before going to bed and this experience is presenting itself in that format. This is the extended reward prologue for completing some sort of plotline, and it’s wrapped up like an explosion. All this exciting prologue information bubbling up in an arthouse explosion graphic. The main thing that’s striking me is how it’s using real world story telling. No computer graphics but better than hi def full on reality. I’m also getting the distinct vibes it’s playing on the little death/orgasm metaphor. It definitely feels orgasmic in a way and the entire presentation seems to mirror a near death experience. As I’m hovering slightly outside of my body, it all seems feels perfect. What a show. What an exhilaratingly arty narrative explosion.
Do I remember any of the details? Of course not. Too inhuman to process for the most part. I do have multiple other dreams throughout the rest of the night though. In one, I’m waking up in my old place in Ohio. My brother is there and he’s waking up at 1am which of course baffles me. He heads downstairs and I’m still very confused as to why we’re waking up at 1am.
Then my dad comes up and explains to me that there’s a rare astronomical event happening tonight, which is why we’re up. So we look at the window and holy shit. Yep, I’d say it’s like 100 shooting stars cascading their white light energy through the night sky at the same time, but it’s actually cooler than that. If fact, it makes us feel like we’re rocketing through space using hyperdrive speeds but I also somehow know the room isn’t moving. The crazy astronomical event is making us feel like we’re shooting through space, even though we’re not. It’s just that radtacular.
Now another dream where we’re in the classic high rise condo scenario. All of us our looking out this huge window enjoying the view and I get it. The view is so choice I can totally understand why people live in these yuppified high floor dwellings. In fact, there are 3 or 4 of us that are all just sort of transfixed by the epic view. Then the high waves start crashing in and we can see all these killer whales riding them expertly and jumping out of the water in just such a way that they seem to be winking at us.
But like what the fuck? We seem to be at least 30 floors up so how the hell could a wave be crashing in that high? As the water hits the glass we’re still not processing it. How many people have just died on the streets below? I race to the window on the other side of the condo and it looks like nothing’s happened. Ahhh, waves crashing against picture windows. Happens all the time in my dream life.
On this night, the final stretch scenario involves me taking a bus home from the Invisible College Youngstown branch with a bunch of other people. Is this bus taking me to the right place? I don’t think so. In fact, the bus breaks down in these slums where we run into a couple other people we know doing social work, which seems like difficult work. The rest of the dream is spent trying to figure out which bus I need to hit so I can get back home before dark, when it’ll get increasingly unsafe. A lot of the families I’m hanging with seem sort of annoyed that I’m trying to leave. Hmm, high rise condo with waves crashing at it followed by time spent stuck on poverty stricken street level hovels of a run down city. Whatever could the metaphor be?
1/29/2024 –
I’m a flattened baby universe flying rapidly through a far out cosmic cylindrical tube. Then I’m the flattened baby’s universe’s agent making phone calls. Then I’m awake with a start. The flattened baby universe sure can move. Motherfucker’s gonna get paid.
In a dream now I’m sleeping on the couch in the living room at my family’s old place in Ohio. These kids have started playing football outside and I wake up to close the windows to dampen the sound. It’s a sunny morning and I then somehow end up having a conversation with my brother in law in the kitchen where he’s insisting that the windows need to remain open, to which I’m all:
“What the fuck? I played football a bunch when I was a kid and I didn’t need the windows open when I was doing it.”
Then I head back to sleep and my sister’s trying to wake me up but I’m all:
“I gotta work in a few hours. Leave me alone.”
I must confess that I’ve typically been writing these down in the mornings but I didn’t have time today and wow am I forgetting a bunch. I can even remember the location of one of these scenarios being the most random apartment I lived in for like a year in college but nothing else.
Also, while you're here, do you like psychedelic industrial noise rock? Of course you do!
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