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Writer's pictureThad McKraken

Mind Clouds Hovering Over a Vast Living Ocean



Late August/September/October 2021


First a couple of synchronicities as I haven’t honestly tracked many recently. I’d lost my focus on them and that’s sort of the way these things operate. When you engage the strangeness, the strangeness engages you and I suppose I haven’t been intentionally engaging that particular brand of strangeness for months really.


It still gets through though. The first one’s more of an iPod shuffle divination thing, as in this case I had just read an article on Magnet magazine’s website about how the Connells are putting out their first new album in 20 years. The Connells are a band I hadn't had a single thought about in at least that amount of time which makes the random nostalgia of the revelation amuse the shit out of me. Then the next day I do my prototypical 3 song iPod shuffle divination thing and what comes up as track number 2? The freaking Connells. I own one of their albums total. Sometimes even I’m stunned by this stuff even as regular an occurrence as it is in my life and this would be one of those occasions. To hammer the point home with a wink, the third track that now turns up is by my Bush era metaphysical rant metal project. A part of my consciousness is the freaking computer, that’s why this stuff happens and the whole focus of the exercise.


The other incident of note involved me getting off working from home and then heading out to get some wine and dinner. First I stop to get the wine all the while listening to my iPod but when I get back in the car the tunes are suddenly frozen. Because the ancient tech sound machine suddenly won’t work I’m forced to listen to crap radio which I’d be mad about if it was a longer drive. Also, I can’t find KEXP in my saved stations for completely unknown reasons (I had to add it back in later) so I pull up like KISW (which is the “classic rock” station meaning anything legacy music industry at this point I guess).


I hear some Come As You Are on the way to the Taco Time but the trippy part is that at the exact second I pull behind another car into the drive through line a voice suddenly asks:


“Welcome to Taco Time, can I take your order?”


I’m super stoned so actually mildly confused for a brief moment. Like, wait a minute, there’s another car in front of me, what…the…? Oh, it’s an ad on the radio that starts with a dude asking to take my Taco Time order, that just so happened to come on at the exact freaking second I pulled into a Taco Time drive through. Fun, but what I personally love are the peculiar tech malfunctions that set the whole thing in motion. Both my iPod had to break, then KEXP had to be mysteriously wiped from my saved stations for this shit to go down like it did.


Weed loves you and here’s where it gets meta. I was just writing about how I hadn’t engaged this stuff in a while, and I did just that in writing about those notable incidents, didn’t I? Well, roughly 3 days after I wrote what you’ve read up to this paragraph, I had a sync transpire that was essentially a combination of the other 2. Fantastically weird.


This time I drive to go pick up some food again listening to my iPod. After I get back in the car, the thing then starts playing but the Aesop Rock track I was listening to fast delay echoes out of control. Very over the top glitch style outro sounding, almost like the time diluting reverberations of a whippet high. Then it goes radio silent for like 20 seconds and comes back on playing albums at complete random.


It’s actually done this before and the thing is, when it resets like this I have no idea what order it’s putting the songs in because it makes no logical sense. It just starts playing albums in some odd sequence that I’ve never been able to decipher that always starts with this one techno album. I have never really delved into where it would go after that.


The thing is, I don’t want to listen to that techno album and I’m driving so I click the forward song button on my steering wheel 10 times or so to get to the next one. That one’s I think like an old Meshuggah disc so I’m like, nah, not in the mood and proceed to click another 10 times. What’s now coming through my speakers?


The fucking Connells. Having syncs with random bands I’m not super into has been a common theme in my realm, as I’ve written about on multiple occasions. I do try and make some meaning of it though, and one Connells in particular is in fact fairly relevant to what’s been going on in my life.

One thing I’ve also written about on multiple occasions now has to do with meditative non-sequitur precog. This is where I find a phrase pop into my mind in a ganj-i-tative state that seemingly makes no sense, but ends up predicting the immediate future. This happened to me on 2 straight weekends in early October.


First I’m in some extravagant bliss plane and the words:


“Gut punch ending”


Reverberate throughout my consciousness. This is an inside phrase my wife and I use typically to describe episodes of Law and Order where they sort of blast you out of the episode with a hard shot of depression. So a few hours later I have to kill 20 minutes waiting for my wife and I somehow end up watching half an episode of Sopranos which ends with what? One hell of a gut punch ending if I do say so myself. And thus the prophecy had been fulfilled.


Then the next weekend it was the same sort of thing but this time it’s:


“Too many field goals” What in the absolute fuck right? But of course later that day I’m tweaking some beats and have a football game on in the background. It’s the Bengals vs. Packers and how does that turn out you might ask? Well, with 5 consecutive missed field goals, most of which would have essentially won the game. And thus the prophecy had been fulfilled.

A day later it’s:


“Pancakes”

And then when I’m eating my breakfast pretty much the first thing I turn on is a segment of offensive line blocking highlights, which they’re referring to as pancakes, as in “you pancaked that dude” (flattened). And thus the prophecy had been fulfilled (I swear I’m not going to do that again here).


One more ganj-i-tation related curiosity and it would take some boring exposition to explain this entirely, but because of my thyroid I was feeling like crap for several consecutive days at one point. I was too out of it to do pretty much anything other than space out on music and play video games. The horror. Not what I wanted to be doing with my time necessarily but the important thing is that at one point I was given a hot liminal state tip about something in the game I was geeking out on, then when I woke up the next day I almost didn’t even check on it. But I did and…Holy Christ!


As mentioned, it’d take some boring nerd shit to explain this entirely but essentially it was no different than having a vision about there being a gold ring at a very specific place in your back yard in an altered state, then going outside and finding exactly that in the exact spot specified. I think I’ve said this before but I’m not typically shocked by this stuff and this made me sit back for a second and ponder the connection between inner and outer reality. Thought does not arise from matter, matter is comprised from thought.

What else? On the dream front one night I had this very interesting continual liminal bombardment type dialogue. I was looking down at people from an above head video game interface format type perspective. From this view they looked like little flat black circles with silver borders wandering about, but what was being communicated to me was how I could see their rating from this vantage point. Basically what level of development in the game we call life they were at. Most were a +1, some were a +8, which I remember being on the high end in this hypothetical scenario and there weren’t that many past a +3 or so.


I’m sort of being shown that these higher perspective beings use these ratings to help facilitate communication and therefore influence. People at the higher levels of development are probably going to be able to communicate with them more effectively, so those are the ones they focus on.


But of course as mentioned, there aren’t very many of those leveled up people in the scenarios, which is part of the point. I like the video game aspect of the communique. Just because someone put more time into nerding out on a goddamn video game doesn’t really mean they’re better than anyone else playing, does it? They just like, bought the game before the other players or had way more free time on their hands, you know?


I think the same principles apply but this is definitely presented like a school, or a livable interactive educational game. Batshit edutainment vibes down here for sure now that they mention it. This is all in a liminal state but it gets interesting because on a few occasions I get sucked from the overview silver circle perspective and into the thick of the ground level action.


When this happens, I’m now either in the head or in the presence of writers, some who I know, some who I don’t recognize, often flitting between the minds of various subjective points of view involved with their sphere of influence. I can only minorly remember the general feeling of these interactions but the intent was pretty clear. Writers tend to be people who’ve leveled up to the point where it would make sense to implant ideas into their spirit. And you know, who else is going to put those ideas into words that can then become flesh. It all quite elegantly tracks if you contemplate it for even a second. Mystical themes are everywhere in pop culture these days.


What else, oh yeah, in late August I was informed in a sudden hypnogogic burst that I dream every night now. Just straight up.


“You will remember your dreams every single night moving forward”


This was presented as if I had leveled up in my psi-abilities, like I had earned a new merit badge of honor. What in the fuck? This actually happened before the proceeding liminal deluge I might point out so that was actually continuing the theme of assigned life progression grades or levels.

Also, I was sort of suspicious of this proclamation at first but over a month later, I have in fact remembered at least some of my dreams every single night since, with the exception of 2 where I simply didn’t sleep very well. We’ll see if it continues, but on every single night where I’ve gotten at least 5 hours of sleep or so I’ve been dreaming.


What’s interesting though is that the dreams themselves haven’t been super duper compelling. As if sensing this I was at one point told that I was supposed to be looking for patterns. I have and in general I think I can sum up what I’ve learned so far with this fun little oneiro-nugget.


I have to get up and start my work week, but I’m 100% under and I’m like, really? When I’m on this side I can stretch my head to all these other dimensions. See? And with this the back of my skull becomes the entirety of a deep blue sky filled with mind clouds hovering over a vast living ocean. The entire feeling is transcendent relaxation bliss, but I then effortlessly contort into another concrete alien vista at dusk. I eventually find myself awake and am informed that:


“You don’t really want to be here.”


Why would anyone want to be a person, when they can be the entirety of infinite imaginal space?






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