7/4/2023 -
One of those times where you slip into a ridiculous state of consciousness so far detached from human reality that's it's hard to describe, but I'll try. I'm floating slightly above my body and I am a living array of energetic mutating color forms. While in this state I distinctively think to myself:
"Oh yeah, this is that thing that shouldn't be happening by our conventional models of how the universe supposedly works but here I am."
I'm so obviously not a human in this form and the exoticness of the situation isn't lost on me. I'm aware that not everyone gets to experience weird joys like this, although they should. And that'd be the other thing. I'm solving some sort of problem. My kaleidoscopic psychedelic energy form is configuring itself in a variety of different ways to try and find a solution to a particular scenario. I just keep transforming into one solution, then another, then another, and there's this sense that all of these solutions I'm turning myself into are slightly out of bounds. Like, these are solutions that I can come up with but there's a barrier preventing most people from stretching their imaginations this far. I'm simply ignoring that barrier. It's like I'm cheating in a way.
This exercise goes on for most of the night and eventually does lead to some more traditional dreaming. I'm now in my old neighborhood and I'm realizing that right up the street from where I used to live there's a new block of bars and restaurants that I've never tried. Mostly Asian restaurants like Sushi and Pho. How did I never notice this new block of fine establishments before? Strange but cool as it's right by my old place.
On the way back from visiting this block with the new restaurants I also realize a guy I used to hang out with years back now lives right near me. I stop in to hang for a while and the main thing that stands out is that the dude has a new girlfriend who is by my estimation way out of his league. She's a very pretty thin black woman with shorter blondish dyed hair and again, I'm very confused about why she's with this guy but whatever. I stop into their very modest apartment which is in an older house and chat mainly with her for a while. In addition to being attractive she's also very smart but I'm already getting the vibe is a tad too into conspiracy theories for my liking. Oh god, she's one of those people. Although not that deep into the muck as far as I'm gathering but just enough that I'm suspicious of everything that's coming out of her mouth after a certain point.
After chatting for a while I now leave and somehow end up back in my old apartment. Goddamn it. Not again. I'm in the kitchen with my old landlord and in chatting I realize the basement apartment is no longer there. It's like she's unfinished the basement apartment area. Didn't see that coming but I suppose that's even more of a reason for me not to come back. I have no idea why I'm back in the first place.
One more thing. Before I wake up I'm going through one of the dayglo out of body scenarios I spent my night developing and am getting sort of frustrated with one of them. This whole solution feels like a blue cave and there's a minor barrier in the cave preventing it from working. But what if I just punched a whole through that barrier? Yep, that'll work. There's an observing spirit guide here and it seems amused at this solution but agrees that it will work.
7/5/2023 -
I'm in this scenario where I'm living in a second story condo in seemingly a downtown area of some city and it almost seems like the distant past in a way. Before I was born but not too far, like the late 60's or something and it almost seems like those older stoop townhouses I see on TV in NYC. I'm hanging out with my wife when this shorter, slightly older Asian woman shows up at our door and she's there to have sex with me. Why? No idea. What's even weirder is that my wife doesn't care at all. She is totally fine with this arrangement so we proceed to the spare bedroom to go at it. The entire time I am confused by why this happening and also why my wife is totally cool with it.
As we're getting into it her body is morphing as I touch her and suddenly I'm under. She is now on a higher level of reality and she's guiding my decent into the lower realms. This comes across like she's on a floor above me in a building and I'm invading the room beneath it. There is definitely a barrier between her and where I am now. She's telling me to do specific things in these lower realms and what she's telling me to do involves creating very detailed art, all in blue. I'm making these incredibly intricate blue mind paintings in this other lower realm and it's almost like I'm displacing the bland blankness of what was there before with something far more interesting, except again, entirely blue, although with black detail lines I suppose.
The other thing that's fascinating here is that she's telling me where to put these artworks except she doesn't understand how easy it is for me to will these things into existence. Nearly everything she's telling me to do is pretty much already done by the time she's telling me to do it. Again, she seems to just not realize how quickly and effortlessly I can churn out this mutating art and yeah, I mean, it is entirely effortless. I seem to know where she's going to want me to put these images slightly before she tells me as well so it's very much a constant:
"Put this image here."
"I already did that a few minutes ago."
Type dialogue. There's absolutely a disconnect between what she's seeing and what I'm doing and yet I seemingly need her on the other side of the barrier tying me to the higher realm for unknown reasons. It definitely seems like a collaboration or like I'm a diver with someone on the surface monitoring my progress.
At least at first but for the entire rest of the night this exercise continues without her. I spend an entire night diving to the depths of the astral realms and painting them with elaborate blue psychic murals. Strange times.
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