6/11/2023 -
New iterations of the most common recurring dream I have. Here I'm once again bored out of my mind while taking college classes, even though I've already passed these classes and graduated. This time I recognize the professor who's this slightly overweight balding white dude with grey hair, mainly because I've passed this class a hundred times. Dude actually tried to engage me in a conversation about some book I haven't been reading not long ago. Why am I here? What am I getting out of this?
No answers come but I wake up, get back under, and am in another class. This is the one with the shorter dark haired woman professor. I believe this is the English class if I'm remembering correctly. Didn't I swear off these things. Like, I'm pretty sure I made up my mind to never take these classes ever again, yet here I am. On the way out the door I run into a guy I used to play music with. I'm complaining about how me continuing to take these classes actually gets increasingly awkward because I'm getting older. He agrees. The odd thing though is that I'm imagining this. I don't actually seem any older than any of the other students in these scenarios nor do they seem to think it's weird that I'm there. I am so bored by all of it though.
Anyway, I leave campus and immediately enter my second most common recurring dream. Here I find myself waking up in my old basement apartment and I have no idea how this happened. I left class and wanted to come home and take a nap, but I ended up here taking a nap on the couch instead somehow. I start gathering up my things to leave and that gets even stranger because I know I didn't leave some of these things here. Like, no, I absolutely know that this headset is at my townhouse because I just put it there the other day and I didn't take it to school with me.
After gathering my things to leave for a while I hear my landlord coming down and it's once again awkward because I'm not supposed to be here. She comes in and I'm all:
"Just grabbing a few more things that I left!"
She's totally cool with it and actually says:
"The most important thing is that the place looks great!"
Which it absolutely doesn't. It's a total fucking mess. There is one difference to these scenarios though as in a liminal state there's suddenly a link I can click to supposedly give me more info on the classes I keep blowing off (that I'm seemingly taking for no reason). I suppose I need to focus my energies on clicking that link over the next few days. I'll see what I can do. I always have these dreams on Sunday nights right before the work week I might point out. I do not think that's accidental.
6/12/2023 -
Here I'm on a higher level of astral reality and I'm like a talking monkey salesman. I'm with this other guy and he's telling me that to complete this 3rd dimensional timespace narrative he's working on, he needs someone who's behavior is entirely predictable. No surprises. He needs to know exactly how this person is going to behave in every situation with zero deviations.
And with this I'm like:
"I got you my dude."
And I start showing him this one man's reality (who's represented as Jamal Murray in this scenario but I don't get the impression was actually supposed to be Jamal Murray as it seemed like he had some highly skilled blue collar or science job of some variety that involved safety glasses to shield the glare from a burning light). This guy is completely tied to his routine via the dark energy that flows all around him. Everything he does conforms to this looping black force that flows through the seams of our very existence mostly unbeknownst to us. In his case, he's tapped into this force to create a pattern of behavior that is now controlling him essentially.
All shit I've been shown before and I believe this would be the class on autism that I'm enrolled in. It's been a theme in my life to say the least.
"Hmm, yeah, I think this will work"
Says the customer. I believe I've made a sale.
Later, in a liminal state, I'm told that I can rot in hell.
6/13/2023 -
The holy shit factor here is so off the charts. So it's the higher level scene kid I keep running into and it's the same deal. I sort of casually encounter these performances/shows this dude is putting on and find them intriguing. They're always on this slightly elevated level of reality as well, typically in a fairly high end performance space but this time it's a tad more gritty. In fact, it really comes across like an astral plane version of The Rendezvous, where I've played and seen a million shows over the years. The scene kid is even coming off as a guy I used to know that booked that venue for a spell.
Anyway, it's the typical thing where this guy is trying to recruit me to get involved with this thing that he's doing and I'm tangentially interested. Honestly, this is all difficult to put into words and involves floating through this circular pattern of almost Saturn's rings type energy. That's about the best I can describe it. It's like visible planetary rings are flowing through this multi layered pocket of reality and I'm tapping into this circular flow of energy that flows from the higher to the lower level of this space and back. The guy wants me to be the primary subject of this ritual and somehow manages to convince me.
Here's where it gets wild. The next thing I know I'm looking at a small group of people dressed in black robe ritual garb very quickly and frantically explaining my identity to me from a 3rd person perspective from the side. Now I'm in the head of this person with amnesia and again, there's a group of people frantically trying to explain to me who I am and what's going on.
"You're Thad McKraken, you're a musician who lives in Seattle. You're taking part in a cosmic ritual as part of a psychedelic art performance, etc."
And with that my personality comes back and I'm super disoriented. Whoa. What the fuck? The scene kid pulls me aside and we have a private sidebar chat. I ask what day it is and it comes out that my standard personality has apparently been missing for 2 whole weeks. Not only that but according to him I'm a legend. Pretty much everything I wanted to will into existence has lined up perfectly in the 2 weeks I've now been missing. So I did some sort of ritual that lead something else to take over my body for a 2 week span that I can't remember and now I'm taking part in another, similar ritual.
I tell the guy that I can't go through with the ritual we're currently involved in to preserve my sanity and he informs me that it's a performance that people are waiting to see. I ask how many people and he says 10 to which I'm like:
"Not worth it."
Which is funny because if there were more, I might be persuadable apparently. But nah, I'm cancelling this particular performance to preserve my own sanity. This is truly all I remember but whatever the fuck was going on here is absolutely baffling. I'm fully aware that part of this ritual involves re-orienting the participant into their own identity but why was this even necessary? I've always got the vibe this whole scene involves DMT in some capacity (which I've still never done) but wow. This is so much stranger than I can even put into words but also apparently the kid was right, I am the right person for this particular job apparently.
Down the road I'm in Invisible College Columbus just fucking around with a bunch of other people. We're basically just killing time and CD shopping (which is a thing I never actually do) but eventually we end up at these other peeps house. We're there for a while watching TV but when I leave, I realize that someone has taken just one of my fancy sneakers that we all left by the door on our way in which is pretty WTF? Why would they just take one of them? As I'm trying to sort this out they all move on ahead without me.
I put on mismatched shoes and try to track them down but I've lost them, so I go back home, which is this large urban living space that I'm apparently sharing with several other people. It's admittedly pretty choice and as I'm admiring my layout in the shared space it occurs to me that I'm very much in a The Real World type reality TV situation. This is kind of odd because the first few seasons of The Real World are pretty much the only reality TV I've watched in the entire history of reality TV. It's just not my thing at all but here I am.
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