3/31/2023 -
In this dream this guy is in town to have sex with my wife and in this scenario we're living in a high rise downtown. He rolls in and is basically like:
"Here's the deal. I'm going to sleep with your wife all weekend, then at the end of the weekend she's going to decide whether or not she wants to stay with you."
Then he quite politely sits next to her on the couch and is skeezing up on her while I sit on the other side of the couch right next to them. This goes on for a while until I realize, wait a minute, I'm not actually cool with this arrangement. So I pull my wife aside and explain to her that this isn't going to work.
That's about where the dream cuts out but here's what's bonkers. The adultery guy was presented as this dude my high school girlfriend cheated on me with. Honestly, I don't even remember if we were even dating at that point but she sort of hooked up with him right in front of me. This marks the second time in two nights where my dream states are making me think about high school, which is a phase of my life I almost never contemplate at all honestly. The last night was sort of a fun lost memory but this one? Not so much. Yeah, thanks for bringing that up y'all.
I do in fact get it though. I have to completely re-assess my life through the lens of now knowing that I had a pretty severe mood disorder for most of it. God, both of my first two high school romances were fairly marred by it's presence. Had I contemplated that much before? Nope. I see it now in a way I didn't back then for sure. Young people relationships are hard enough without having a head continually stuck sinking into doomsville. This is the Invisible College history class I'm supposed to be taking. I get it.
Later in the night I'm at a going away party for my wife's crazy evangelical cousin who is in fact moving out of town in waking life. This is very long and boring and the only thing of note is that at one point they want us to commit to coming to visit them and we're like:
"Errrrrr......"
Which is sort of funny because I can pretty much guarantee we are in fact never visiting these people in Texas on account of them being creepy Christofascists, among other reasons. Even though the dream is super dull it is explained to me later in a liminal state that it was designed to make me contemplate how my wife was raised with very conservative ideas about sex. They've actually been trying to point this out to me for a while in regards to myself i.e. that I'm fairly conservative sexually even though I tell myself that I'm not. I have pretty much been a serial monogamist for my entire adult life and have now been married for 14 years. It's also very hilarious that I know this dream means I'm not getting laid on date night like I normally do and because of cycle reasons, this turns out to be entirely true.
Not really super interesting dreams but the way dreams are connected to waking states is even more important. Earlier in the day while jamming on some new Hidden Extra Skull material we start talking about Mr. Show because my bandmate just saw David Cross live. This actually sparks the memory that the album we made together way back in the day had a song that references Mr. Show quite specifically. What's crazy though is that when I contemplate it, I do not remember anything else about this song as it has been so long since I listened to anything on that album.
I pull it up and we realize it turns 20 next year, which is bonkers. I play the first few bars of the track but man, no, I don't remember any of this. I tell my friend I'm going to go listen to it later but I'm just saying that. I have no plans on busting that album out later. Why? I'm mildly embarrassed by it I suppose. I just don't want to think about that phase of my life.
But then after my wife goes to bed I'm mildly drunk and just looking for something to watch on TV for an hour or so before I pass out. In realizing there were only 2 NBA games on that Saturday night (which is rare during the season), I opt for 90's videos. The 3rd video that comes up is Rage Against the Machine's Testify, which is quite possibly the most retroactively embarrassing video in the history. You can see for yourself if you don't believe me. What's crazy about this though is that seeing this makes me actually do the thing I said I was going to do. Jeez, if RATM made videos this cringey I should be able to handle a few of my old angry dude cuts.
I end up listening to several of them. Again, it's not really my thing at this point in my life but my lyrics are definitively weird. Also, I am supposed to be re-evaluating my life through the lens of knowing that I used to be incredibly mentally unbalanced which is exactly what I'm doing.
And in doing this I realize something else, which is that I just dreamt about listening to old music of mine that I hadn't listened to in a long time, two nights prior. And again, it wasn't something I was planning on doing, in fact, I was specifically planning on not doing it.
One other thing happened at HES practice as well, which is that while tuning my guitar I realized that the riff for Devil's Haircut by Beck is just the first three open notes on the bottom strings of an E tuned guitar. I had never noticed this before and I kept playing the riff on and off through half of our practice before I retuned, even when were just chatting. So after I drunkenly listen to a few Nemesis Theory cuts I go upstairs to grab a snack and throw on the live 90's videos again. What's the second song that comes up? Devil's Haircut.
The next morning my wife reveals to me that she's finally ready to cut my hair. I'd been low key nudging her to do this for the last month. Now is the time. The day so happened to catch the Devil's Haircut video on live TV after accidentally teaching myself to play the main riff earlier in the day. Just another episode.
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