2/29/2024 –
Four seemingly non-sequitur visions in a row:
I’m putting my dog is his play pen to nerd out on one of his special toys except that I’m zipping up the top of the play pen to close him in, which I never do in waking life as he never tries to jump out of the thing anyway.
I’m watching a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles adventure in space. April O’Neil is there and they’re on some sort of a desolate moon like planet or asteroid, leaping into action.
A young light skinned man with a thick curly black beard and short hair is wearing an almost skin tone band aid like outfit and eating ass. I can’t tell if the ass he’s eating is a woman, man, or trans.
Stephen A. Smith is sitting in an empty white very old school looking bathtub by himself wearing a full 3 piece suit.
Now I pull into an odd visionary state where I’m peacefully meditating in a translucent psi bubble, seemingly trying to piece all of these visions together on an unconscious level.
The next thing I know I’m in a dream at my grandparent’s old place in the Columbia Gorge. It’s a gorgeous day and when I walk outside I realize that ESPN is doing a live broadcast from the porch. I stroll past and attend to whatever task I headed outside to accomplish, then as I’m heading back in I notice that there are some random people just sitting next to the TV personalities and I could have been one of them if I’d only known it was happening apparently.
As I’m contemplating this, I walk right past them to the other door right through the shot and a producer sort of groans when I do. Oh shit. Sorry. Now I’m back in the house marveling at the gorgeous view when Stephen A comes inside as the segment has apparently wrapped. I see that there’s a golf course green set up and they’re closely filming the action, which seems like a short putting competition. It’s starting to make sense now, some sort of golf event is happening in town. I go to Stephen A all:
“Man, I can’t believe they’re filming this right in my grandparent’s old front yard.”
He agrees that it’s a fabulous view and day. I express that I wish I’d known they were doing this as I would have gotten on camera and he agrees that this would have been cool. We chat for a bit and not long after a producer who looks like this almost post-apocalyptic punk rock bro walks by with his son, who also seems a bit different in his fashion sense. His son asks him a question and the guy responds very matter of factly. I don’t remember the specifics but I get the gist:
“Yes son, capitalism is bullshit and no one cares about anything other than money.”
He’s being incredibly blunt and honest about the way the business works and I’m all:
“Damn, not gonna sugar coat it for him, huh? I respect that.”
But Stephen A doesn’t. He takes offense to this style of parenting and starts going on a prototypical animated rant about it. This is when I choose to bow out. I head to my room to check on my wife, who’s settling in for a pre-party nap. There’s an event later and she’s going to try to rest up beforehand. I’m tempted but I tell her I struggle with that sort of thing because I’ll often have a super hard time getting myself back out of bed. This is true. It’s also true that when I pulled out of this scenario, it was time to wake up. No time for more sleep.
3/1/2024 –
I’m at this football game and I’m definitely on the side of one team, except that I’m right down by the field and I can’t tell if I’m supposed to be playing or not. In fact, at one point this play goes right by me as I’m sleeping on the sideline and I feel bad. Like, I could have made that tackle you know. Except that I then look down and realize that I’m definitively standing out of bounds. I have to be in the game to make a play. Somebody has to put me in. I have no idea what’s going on but after this play there’s now a kickoff and I’m now standing in the endzone with this other bro, fielding the kick.
“Ok, so I am playing now?”
I ask the guy. Apparently so. We’re down 30-19 in the 3rd quarter and he thinks we can still win. I’m not so sure but now you’ve at least got me in the game I suppose. Wow, what a complicated metaphor. I do in fact need to get back into the game.
Next it’s the prototypical scenario where women are hitting on me but then I realize that I’m married. This time a dark haired woman is super into me. We’re supposed to meet up for some event but in the interim she realizes she can’t make a relationship with me work for whatever reason but she’s lined up a freckled curly red haired friend who’s now throwing herself at me.
Then I’m heading out for this event when I realize that wait, uhh, I’m going to this thing with my wife. Now I find myself where I’m in a situation where both of these women are hanging out with my wife and I and it’s super duper awkward. Because of all this I end up canceling our plans to go to this event, knowing full well that I’m disappointing a lot of people that were expecting me to show. After this there’s an extended sequence of myself hanging out with my wife in our townhouse that’s mildly erotic.
Oh, the super complicated metaphors. Both cheating and leading people on isn’t great behavior.
3/2/2024 –
In this liminal scenario I’m planning a big party for my dad. Part of this shindig involves my brother, my father, and myself doing this coordinated almost boy band like synchronized dance. It’s like I’m watching the choreographed moves for this routine as a spectral ghost on a computer screen, then they’re sort of downloading themselves into me and I can feel myself moving. The second this process initiates though, the absolute absurdity of the situation overwhelms me. I briefly look at my father who’s also starting to cajole his body into motion per the downloaded instructions and start laughing hysterically, which jolts me into a waking state.
I must confess that if we could pull something like this off, it would in fact be goddamn hilarious.
For most of the rest of the night it’s a completely different scenario where we’re just sitting around waiting. It’s like we’ve gone on a trip overseas and have just returned. There was supposed to be a bus picking us up from the airport but we’re starting to realize that possibly my dad just didn’t book us one. Everything else on the trip was arranged by him so we were just assuming there’d be accommodations but maybe that was just an assumption. Whatever the sitch was, goddamn does this go on forever. Don’t let anyone tell you dreams are always interesting. This is exactly as boring as extensively waiting at an airport for someone to pick you up would be in the waking world.
Eventually this enclave of weirdoes piloting odd blue futuristic transportation machinery arrives to grab us though, which I almost wasn’t even expecting because it’d taken so long. Now we’re going into like GM mode talking about how to make our football franchise better. I eventually somehow manage to convince the best player in the world to sign for 150k. Apparently he just wants to win a ‘chip. This comes with a message. I need to focus more on my sorcery.
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