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Writer's pictureThad McKraken

Not Static but Constantly Changing



5/24/2024 –


I enter a ganj-i-tation trance and my consciousness is taken over by this living magazine cut up collage art style piece that has this breathing deep purple background and a floating white square cut out eye in the upper left. The thing shifts around wildly, changing out the underlying pieces but the white square cut out eye swath remains, staring into my soul. I have become living art I think to myself. It true. As mentioned, the thing is breathing as it shifts, just to hammer home the metaphor. Not static but constantly changing.


Later I fall into this dream experience that’s like a dating simulator living video game. Very odd and specific. There’s this ideal woman I’m looking for who has very short hair parted on the left and an image of her ID card is like hanging out in the background of my consciousness. She’s the ideal. That’s what I’m shooting for but truthfully I don’t even think she really exists and even if she did, would she be into me? That’s unclear as well.


I find myself in a classic red seated movie theater row with black floors sitting next to this woman with long dark hair who seems maybe slightly younger than me. We’re pleasantly chatting and it seems like time warps and the next time we’re in this situation she’s all over me. Then I warp back out of this perspective. I’m still looking for the perfect profile ID card woman and in doing so I accidentally find this thin older woman with short greying hair. Now I’m in the red seated movie theater row again and this woman’s now all over me while the dark haired woman from before sits next to us and glares angrily.


I don’t know what to think of any of this but I now back out again and the ideal woman’s profile is down in the corner. Again, I thought she was just a fantasy but the indication seems to be that she is in fact an actual person. It also seems like she’s in a bit of a different place and time than I am and I have to align myself to that psychic schedule if I want to meet her on her terms. Or maybe I don’t. Maybe I’m OK with these other options.


This all feels like a metaphor for online dating, which I’ve really never done and not a hard one to read. The way my internal vision of who I thought the ideal woman was guided my decision making on an unconscious level was fascinating. Kind of dull though overall if I’m also being honest.


So was the next scenario I find myself in, which was yet another fancy wedding. This time it was certainly swank. And annoying honestly because I’m like trying to find my casual outfit for the afterparty and it’s taking forever for unknown reasons. The only thing that happens here of any intrigue is that as I’m heading into the reception dinner my perspective switches into this living foodie video game. It’s scanning around all the tables and pulling up these info graphics describing the plates in great detail.


“But like, what’s the point?”


I think to myself.


“You can’t even taste any of the food.”


Fascinating. I can in fact taste food in dreams on occasion. Dreams are better than all of our art will ever be. Real art is alive. Constantly changing.  


5/25/2024 –


It’s like I’m a student teacher in this situation and there’s this black woman sitting a few rows away from where I’m standing in the class as I’m part of the way down another row of desks rather than at the front of the class. I’m trying to teach her how to take a certain type of drug and she’s just not getting it. I do not understand this confusion at all and am laying out the 3 simple steps it takes to indulge in this chemical over and over, as slow and directly as I can. Eventually she pretends to get it but I’m not convinced. I’m observing her and she takes out this marijuana flower, then this odd glass tubular device and is trying to use the device to snort the flower.


“No, that’s not how this works.”


I inform her.


That’s about where the dream cuts out and for the rest of the night I must confess that it’s all sort of vague. I’m once again in the high-rise scenario for an extended period but none of it stands out although my wife is here this time, which is different. Lots of staring out the window at the amazing views of the phantasmal cityscapes. Same shit. I didn’t entirely understand why people would want to live in a high rise downtown but I do understand it now that I’ve experienced it. The views. Looking out at these elevated urban vistas is certainly addictive.


As mentioned, this goes on for a long time and there are only a couple nuggets I really recall. At one point I go outside and unintentionally run into my family. They’re at the park just outside the skyscraper and I’m telling them that hey, I live right there if they want to come and check it out. None of them seem to believe me entirely or care much, which is so right in tune with the vibe of my family its genuinely funny.


What else? At some point I’m out and when I show up, a small get-together is starting and Andrew Wiggins is there. I get the vibe we’re supposed to be watching a game and I am intrigued. Who hasn’t wanted to drink a beer and watch sports with Andrew Wiggins, you know? Lol.


There are of course lots of other people hanging out in this extended high-rise space and the only other plot I recall is that in one of their rooms in front of their desk, there are these two green ticket icons that represent different plot points this person could take. I’m psychically digging in the specifics of each of these options but unfortunately remember little of what I learned. Didn’t seem that interesting if I’m being honest with myself. I wanted to care.


5/26/2024 –


One visionary theme on this night. I’m presented with this skeletal house scenario, which I now understand is associated with 5th dimensional writing. It’s skeletal because you’re filling in the plot, like a blank page. That’s the metaphor. Anyway, here I’m looking at this small square 1 story house that’s divided into 4 equally sized square rooms. These rooms seem to represent storytelling segments and the story is seemingly supposed to flow from the top left room to the top right room then from the bottom left room to the bottom right room.


The entire purpose to them showing me this is that you don’t really have to fill in the top left room at all necessarily. I mean, it’s nice to include that part of the story but it can absolutely be skipped. This is actually sort of funny because I’m shown that I can do this but changing a setting that makes the floor of the room look sort of murky, then just skipping over it with this arrow icon that’s like a bridge over the murk and starting with the top right room.


I don’t entirely get why I’d be doing this though. Like, why not just write out the first room as well? The answer I get is that who doesn’t like to be lazy on occasion and more to the point, this is the exercise. Never mind why, this is lesson plan, follow directions sort of shit. Ok.


After getting up and getting back under I do dig into this further and am told it’s a way of subverting large language models. This actually makes sense. LLM’s would be basing their fiction on a foundation and if you’re just skipping over that foundation intentionally, leaving it murky as it were, you might be able to outfox them. As I continue digging, an image of Dakota Fanning also pops into my mind. I’m genuinely confused by this but when I wake up I remember she’s got a new movie that just came out called what? The Watchers (I had to look it up because my mind tunes out completely if someone mentions M. Night Shyamalan). I seem to be more than watching in this sitch though, I’m on the writing team. Somebody else seems to be watching. Maybe they’re watching the writing team?


Anyway the more I dig I eventually get an image of all these Romans in classic Roman empire garb existing in a deep blue void. This also confuses me a bit at first but I mean, in our western capitalist view of history The Roman Empire did just sort of form out of the blue. The whole exercise involves editing out an entire quarter of the story. Fascinating stuff. Jesus, what I was taught about history in school was mainly the history of western militarism with a heavy focus on the Roman Empire and WWII.


One more vision. Tom Hanks and his family are doing some sort of live show on a stage that feels a bit like some mega church bullshit if I’m being honest. Anyway, they have a big announcement, which is that they got this new dog. The dog (which is a thin larger breed, I guess like a German Sheppard mix or something) runs across the stage and the second it runs under the big video screen the family is all sitting under, this rather impressive animated dog sequence pulls up on the screen.


“They just got this dog?”


I think to myself.


“How did they get that animation package together so quick?”


When I wake up I realize, with AI that wouldn’t even be tough to do currently. What a world we live in. Is the time before the invention of this shit the part that gets edited out? That’s a heavy question.






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