First off, Happy OTS Day! For a brief history on that, there's more info here. Also check out the new synchronicity section of the website here.
3/6/2024 –
I’m doing the same thing I’ve been doing for the last several nights, which is creating an alternate reality for myself to traverse. This time when I pull out of it in a liminal state I see it as this blue flickering icon in the middle right corner of my consciousness. As I’m contemplating it, a voice comes into my head and informs me that:
“You should try to get to the bottom of why this is happening.”
So I do. I specifically focus on trying to understand why I keep engaging in this alternate world creation exercise. I’m told some personal things I’m not going to discuss here. It’s also re-iterated that there’s a lot of danger in what I’m doing and I have to be careful. Then the dreams.
In this first scenario I’m in the middle of a desert and I stop at this small 1 story building. There are a couple of people inside and one of them is this overweight bald guy wearing cartoonishly thick glasses. He’s basically a prototypical aging nerd and wow does he live up to the stereotype. He immediately starts asking if he can fix my computer for me but I don’t need my computer fixed. I’m here with another unidentified woman and we are immediately annoyed with this dude. After talking to him for a bit I’m realizing that this is like a movie and his character is a bit. He’s supposed to be over the top fucking annoying. That’s the joke.
We chat with him for a while and he comes out to look at our car for us, even though we don’t need his help with our car. Again, it’s a bit and his character gets increasingly over the top grating the more we hang with him. We’re both standing outside of our car shrugging at each other.
“Holy shit, get us the fuck out of here.”
And the dude keeps rambling. He wants to be our best friends.
What’s odd is this is all a funny joke in this dream scenario but when I wake up I realize the sadness involved. The guy’s so annoying he has no friends and he just wants some sort of social connection so desperately. He also probably has some sort of mental disorder, likely pretty far on the spectrum. In the dream though it’s just a funny joke like it is in a lot of comedies.
In the next scenario, it’s a slight variation on the high rise sitch I always find myself in. Here we’re not on a super high floor, and there are a crapton of us living in this enormous and quite excellent suite, which is absolutely decked out in the artiest way imaginable. There’s like this crazy graffiti all over the walls. It looks freaking amazing. Also, wow are there a lot of people living here. All artist types.
This scenario goes on for quite a while and I’m only going to mention a few things of note. At one point I wake up, then come to back into the exact same sitch. Before I got back under I was trying desperately to remember my dreams and this arthouse high rise suite but now I’m finding myself in the scenario I was trying to remember and wow what a trippy sensation that is.
“Oh yeah. This right here. This thing that I was trying to remember. I’m immersed in it right now.”
Very strange and disorienting but does it make me go fully lucid? No dice. It does however somehow make me come to the realization that what’s going on around me is like a reality show. Obviously. How was I not catching that before? The whole decked out pad thing is almost a direct nod to The Real World houses from way back in the day, The Real World being roughly the only reality TV show I’ve ever watched honestly. Long time ago. I’m also thinking about how since there’s so many people in this place and those people are constantly having parties, there’s no way some of my shit isn’t going to get stolen.
During the course of this there’s also the requisite romantic implications. There’s this woman with short black curly hair who I’m vibing with. We’re watching a film and for unknown reasons I leave her to go to the smoking area and hang with these other dudes who are smoking cigarettes. I have no idea why but I eventually decide to head back upstairs and reconvene with the charming short dark haired woman, who’s almost more charming to me when I return. I look in her face and I’m smitten.
She mentions the film we’re watching and how she didn’t remember it being this weird and I’m all:
“Oh yeah, it’s an incredibly strange film.”
Then I stand up to watch it and wow does this get into hyper-surreal dream within a dream territory. I’m watching a man on a screen watching a film on his TV in a TV that I’m watching on the astral plane. My entire existence is spinning. This is a strange film indeed.
3/7/2024 –
This is possibly the strangest form of lucidity I’ve experienced. I wake up in a dream state, know that I’m dreaming and yet for completely unknown reasons I decide I’m going to take my dogs go sleep in some incredibly odd location. The strangest part is that I almost have this location pre-determined in my mind and it is the oddest most random place in the city imaginable that I think only vaguely exists in the waking world. So I grab my pups and march not far from where I’m sleeping, even though it’s much father on the other side.
They’re off leash and I’m vaguely concerned about them getting hit by a car, even though I’m well aware that it doesn’t matter because I’m asleep. So we look both ways and cross well before the distant headlights arrive behind us. Now we’re here, right in the middle of this completely random parking lot. This is the spot. I’ve been carrying my blanket with me the whole time so I plop down with my pups and comfortably get back under. Uhhhh….
The strangeness now escalates when this force starts pulling me out of my bed that I’ve somehow returned to except that it’s facing in a north rather than east like it is during the day. It legit feels like an invisible super strong wind is sucking me horizontally and slightly skyward and I am determined to ride this anomaly as far as it’s going to take me. I’m trying very hard to let go of my defenses and get sucked away but my dogs aren’t having it. They start barking and freaking out which pulls me back into a waking state where they are sleeping peacefully.
Were they in fact protecting me from some malevolent potentiality on the astral plane? Possibly. They do more than I’d ever expect or understand on that front.
In the next scenario I’m in an airport. This goes on for a while but the only thing I truly recall is that at one point my brother needs to go to the bathroom and I try to follow him, but the second he goes off into this one area security closes these gates behind him. Fuck. I need to find another bathroom and so I go on the hunt. After going through all these winding twists and turns I somehow find myself in this private music space area with all these cool rugs on the ground. A band is setting up on the floor and ahh, I’ve been here before. There are obviously bathrooms but there’s catch. They’re almost always super packed and you have to wait in line.
So I head over to the area with the bathrooms and there’s only a couple other peeps in front of me but the room quickly gets very packed. This now gets pretty humorous honestly because everyone is getting real aggressive about these bathrooms and complaining about how the bathroom sitch at this venue has always sucked. It’s getting very competitive and I have to actively assert my place in the line. When my turn is eventually up I have to like fight off this other dude who’s trying to cut in front of me. Then I get in and it’s like an odd airplane bathroom with all the equipment encased in cold metal. Where the hell am I even supposed to pee? Speaking of strange sorts of lucidity, this is one of them. The one where me having to go to the bathroom makes me realize that I’m dreaming and wake myself up.
After getting up to take care of things and getting back under, I now find myself spending a bunch of time revamping my website with what’s supposed to be this hot new tech. I spend a lot of time doing this and am really nerding the fuck out. It seems so awesome but when I’m finished I’m now looking at the final product disappointed. Everything looks like there’s this awful goopy peach and tan colored Claymation seeping out of it. You know what? That actually sucks. Never mind.
3/8/2024 –
I’m in this situation where I’m playing this very sparse retro-futuristic racing game with another unidentified man and here I’m a completely different person as well. Similar but slightly more attractive with a stronger jaw line, no glasses, and a completely different hairstyle, wearing a light blue suit with a buttoned down shirt and no tie. It’s a two player game and we’re competing but again, it’s very retro on purpose. In fact, the whole thing is basically crude black icon top view cars racing through black and white lines on a Pac Man style grid.
We seem to be having fun though until we get to halftime. Apparently this game has a halftime and it takes 15 minutes to reboot itself during halftime. We’re both pretty what the fuck about that sitch and so we throw the game into a medium sized brown paper bag. The scene fades with this almost like tabletop style arcade game being shoved into a jagged edged light brown paper bag in art school design fashion. Again with the retro futuristic video games.
In the next scenario, I’m once again at a family gathering. We’re staying in what appears to be this random house that has this amazingly huge window in the living/dining room area. In fact, I’m in the midst of having some fairly standard interactions with my family when I find myself entranced. My lord the view out that window is exceptionally outstanding. It’s got very psychic marshland river valley vibes and it’s fascinating because it looks very much like something that could exist in the waking world but it’s just a little too freaky. There’s an ever so slight magick elf feeling to it all that makes me go lucid.
It's simply too cool to resist so I start flying out into the awesomeness but I very quickly remember that this isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing in these states. I’m supposed to be either opening portal worlds or tapping into the cheat code/end game narrative navigation option. I try to open a portal but it’s not really working. Admittedly I haven’t done this much before so I’m not super versed in technique on this front.
Okay, so I guess I’ll internally try to tap into the narrative endgame. When I do this aesthetically choice portal with the classic X-Men movie shiny metallic Cerebro design appears, but far more deliciously strange. I keep focusing on the narrative pull inwardly and I’m sucked into the mutant portal.
When I come to again, I’m in the upstairs of this black very surreal arthouse animation situation. I’m in my neighbor’s house from when I was a kid and I walk into their spare room and there are 4 or 5 shadow entities with small but brightly shining solar orb heads huddled together inside hiding.
I approach them and explain that:
“Look, I’m more powerful than the dark energy monster that’s tormenting us in the basement but I need your help. I can take this thing out no problem, all I need you to do is back me up. You don’t even have to do much but if do think you can chip in to fight, do it. With your help I can absolutely take this thing down though, it won’t even be that big a deal. This dork’s got nothing on me.”
That’s where I pull out of the scene. I’ve been rewatching Legion, and the metaphor is beyond obvious. I get it though. If I get some more help I can go omega level mutant on the bullshit that’s haunting this realm.
For the next several hours I’m now in a living video game creation where it’s like I’m navigating through these slightly occluded underwater buildings that aren’t underwater. They just feel like they’ve been flooded with invisible water. It’s an odd upside down void world and I’m looking for these glowing manilla folders that are floating around these worlds as they’ve fallen out of locked safes due to the invisible flood. Each one I gain gives me more light power but I get the vibes I didn’t really even need more than one. But you know, why not keep gobbling up the light energy folders if you’re having fun.
In the next scenario, I’m eating breakfast with a couple other peeps and it’s this very old timey diner scenario I find myself in on occasion based on the café scene in the movie Naked Lunch. I’m sitting across from a shorter slightly stalky, slightly balding I’d say mid 40’s gentleman with thick curly dark hair in sweats looking like he just got out of bed and there’s a thin gentleman dressed in an old time-y 3 piece suit sitting directly to my right, fedora and all. I have a plate full of these cheese with a z covered large crunchy onion ring things and I’m raving about how amazing they are. They do look pretty great and I’m honestly sort of disappointed when I realize they don’t exist upon waking. Anywho, the just rolled out of bed guy across from me starts prodding the prim thin man.
“Look we all know you’re a cross dresser so why not just be out with it? None of us care. In fact, it genuinely makes you cooler.”
He seems a bit confused by this but I chime in in agreement.
“Honestly dude, I’ve always felt like I was a square because I’m hetero. It’s just so vanilla. I’ve always wished I was bi. It’s just edgier, you know? I feel like I’m a bit uptight being purely straight but it is what it is.”
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