12/9/2023 –
A competition of sorts has just happened and everyone has shunned the person who finished in second place. There are like 15 people hanging out on the right side of the field and this other dude’s on the left with his shoulders shrugged. He’s a robot and they all resent the fact that they had to compete against him.
Then my consciousness backs out to this background behind the scenes perspective. These are the people running the show and they’re explaining that because of this, they had to house the robot consciousness in a human body. Camouflage it with flesh.
See, now they’re all hanging out together after the match. They don’t know he’s a robot inside. Not the most subtle metaphor for certain types of neurodivergence I must say. I might as well be an alien inside, some people are almost like robots. Far more variance than we currently contemplate for purely reductionist purposes.
Now it’s like the flowing river dream from the night before but this time I’m merging with Saturn. I suppose it’s never specified that this is Saturn, so possibly another ringed gas giant in the depths of space. I’m floating toward the thing and now I’m a string of cosmic dust riding the current of the outer atmosphere. This feels smooth and effortlessly calm until I suddenly start drifting to the black core center of the planet beneath me. My world briefly starts to fall into narrative bliss oblivion and it feels like I’m falling for a sec but then I concentrate on not concentrating. By shutting my mind off I rejoin the flow and now I’m in communication with these sentient reptilian constellations in the atmospheric clouds. The stars configure themselves into deep lizard patterns. I don’t entirely grasp the language but I do understand in a way. I understand how freaky it is and also how it’s directly tied to the flowing water dream from the night before. I wake up and figure I could prolly write a solid sci fi book about just this vision alone.
12/10/2023 -
All night I have these visions where I'm assembling my ideal technical prog band. I'm going through all these options and you know, who is going to play the saxohphone on this jam? The whole thing is like game design engine and this goes on for hours. I don't remember the specifics of what's going down, all I know is that I'm meticulously putting together my squad and it's quite a process of calculated selection. What's funny is that I wake up and realize that a game where you could choose from many talented musicians to round out your technical prog band would in fact be an excellent game. Also, wow have I been listening to way too much King Crimson lately.
I thought that was going to be it but less than an hour before I wake up, I have an amazingly elaborate lucid dream. In fact, I don't remember how, but I go lucid very quickly into this dream world and I walk across the street to find this generic looking 2 person office that comes across like a Kinko's or something. There are 2 people in there, a shorter Asian man with a sort of modern bowl cut and a round faced younger white woman with shorter black hair. They're in this brightly lit office that feels like a store and I for completely uknown reasons ask them what I should be doing with my lucidity. Like, I know I'm dreaming, what should I be doing here?
They find this question slightly funny and they don't have any great ideas but the round faced Gen Z girl tells me that there's this guy she knows who's a total creep, so maybe I could do something about that. She then writes this name down on a post it note that I affix to my forehead. Apparently if I wander around the dream world with the post it on my forehead, I can concentrate and it'll lead me to the creepy dude.
I start flying off though and I'm quite aware that a lot of time my lucid dreams fade to black so I'm determined to make this one last as long as possible. And it does, except that I legit can't remember all of the odd locations I visit although I do remember all of it is fairly mind blowing in the way that lucid dreams always are. There are even multiple times when I question my lucidity head on. Like, I know I'm dreaming right? Yes, I'm absolutely dreaming.
I do remember that the first stop is this bland office building. I fly over to explore and shocker, there's not very much interesting going down in a bland white walled office building. It's exactly as boring as you would expect it to be. I remember there being a large breakroom, lots of bland people, and that's about it outside of the free beverages and snacks.
I then fly off to several mysterious locations that I promptly forget but the next one I remember is this ground floor piercing shop that almost feels like it's in a convenience store. I walk in and the heavily tattooed receptionist with metal hanging everywhere off her flesh asks me if I've booked an excursion. I do not have a clue what this means. There are piercing tours? I can't get anything done unless I've booked one of these exurusions according to her. Another customer walks in, is equally as confused, and I just decide to bail. I didn't really want any new piercings as it is.
So I walk out of the place and for unknown reasons am consumed by this desire to visit this small, non-descript one story shop across the street. I have no clue why I'm fixated with this but I glide over and no one's there. It doesn't even look like there are walls or rooms inside the small facility but as I'm walking away this older asian man walks out. He wants me to know that he's there and could sell me vegetables if I want.
I genuinely feel bad for the guy, so I'm like:
"OK, I'll buy your vegetables."
He then goes across the street and starts digging up this dirt right next to a bus stop. After digging for a while, there are some weeds there under the grass that he's starting to harvest, except that while he does this, a girl I briefly dated nearly 20 years ago appears in a circular portal next to him. She is very distraught by his digging for weeds and I'm not entirely sure why she's upset but he harvests the weeds and hands them to me. I agree that 6 bucks seems about what these weeds should cost and hand him the money in cash (although again, I'm just being nice). He walks away but there's still the issue of the odd disapproving ex lover of mine, who's wearing a normal looking gray coat with nothing but black lingerie underneath I might point out. She's hovering in a portal on her side as if floating in another realm.
I don't know what to do about her so I grab her in my arms, pull her out of the portal, and start calculatedly flying away. As I do, I can tell I'm actually creating this entire city I've been exploring and it now looks like a colorful surrealist artist's representation of a modern city, as if I'm flying around in a whimsical comic book. The woman I'm carrying in my arms as I fly seems to be comforted by this, and that's where I finally wake up. So many questions. Did the post it note work? Why was I eventually drawn to that strange building? What in the absolute fuck was going on with any of that?
12/11/2023 –
It’s the typical thing where I’m floating above my body and in a state where I fully comprehend that my status of a human is only temporary. I’m a being of unbound imagination, the body is just an ephemeral plot device. What’s different here is that I’m sucked out of this state back into my corporeal form with a jolt and there seemed to be an intentionality to it. Like, hey, idiot. You need to remember this. You keep drifting away into human mode and forgetting.
Later in the night I have one dream and it’s the typical I-live-in-a-high-rise-with-my-brother scenario. Here I’m sleeping in front of the TV on the couch in the main room. Later in the morning I hear people rousing about in the adjacent bedrooms and I’m surprised at how well the place is sound proofed. I can barely hear them but eventually they get up and enter the living room where I’m sleeping, going about their morning business.
One of our old friends comes out and I joke with him that I fell asleep on my back with a half-eaten bowl of cereal on my chest, just to wake up and eat the rest of the bowl. It’s a pro move and there is no way I could do this in actual life but here it’s working for me somehow. Also, my wife’s Mom is in town and she’s this Indian woman, which doesn’t make sense at all in the waking world. When she gets up to eat breakfast in the kitchen I now go into my room, where I’m realizing she is temporarily staying.
So that’s why I’m on the couch. Got it. There is a huge window in my bedroom and wow. We’ve gotta be like 50 stories up at least. What a crazy view. I want to get as close as possible to the amazing city view from the window but when I lean on it, I get the vibe it could give. It’s the typical thing where doing so makes me feel slightly dizzy, like I could fall even though there’s a huge plane of engineered glass preventing this from happening.
The main thing is though that I’m free. I don’t have any classes or job or need for either of these things and I know it. I’m staying here for an indefinite period and I can do whatever the fuck I want. This is certainly different. In fact, I know there’s a workout facility/pool on the top floor. I’m absolutely going to hit that up later. What am I going to do with my free time? I’m not entirely sure but it’s going to be spent smoking weed and hanging out at this swanky high-rise facility, and I’m pretty happy about that.
Also, while you're here, do you like psychedelic industrial noise rock? Of course you do!
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