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Writer's pictureThad McKraken

She Said She Wants to Watch You Die



5/27/2024 –


As it’s getting to the end of the night I’m genuinely confused. I went to bed slightly early and I haven’t had any dreams that I remember yet. I’ve been sleeping well and I know there were several I’d forgotten but typically if I’d slept like this, I’d remember multiple dreams by this point.


I do have another hour and a half to sleep though and I’m introduced to the quality control department. I meet two of these people but I only remember the second. She’s this woman with short gray curly hair sitting at her desk in a sunny classroom. She tells me that she’s the quality control department and she takes her job very seriously. OK then. I suppose all the dreams I’d forgotten weren’t up to snuff. Can’t say I’d met the dream QC department before. This is followed by a brief vision about a woman whose husband abandoned her while she was in the hospital. Then another about a fancy new YMCA facility that just opened.


Now I’m in yet another classroom. I’m waiting for class to start and predictably bored out of my mind. Then I realize some crap had fallen out of my backpack so I’m gathering all these notebooks together and there’s this very odd sense of familiarity. Like, haven’t I found myself gathering together shit like this a million times before? Yes, and yet it doesn’t make me go lucid somehow so I head back to my desk.


There’s now this slightly heavyset I suppose Jack Black-esque rocker guy with long black hair wearing a black band tshirt and jeans at the front right of the classroom. He puts on this song on a small boom box and poses the question to the class. Does anyone know this song? He very much doubts that anyone in the class does but I immediately raise my hand like:


“Yeah, that’s Monster Magnet.”


The guy is gobsmaked that someone in the class not only knew this, but identified it so quickly. I’m not as impressed though because as I point out, I just identified the band, not the song. So I bust out my phone trying to remember the track name but of course my phone is useless because it’s on the astral plane. It pretty quickly comes to me anyway:


Twin Earth


That’s the cut. Again, the rocker teacher dude is amazed that someone in the class knew this and is telling his teaching assistant friend as much. Very interesting as I was just contemplating the mirror image Seattle I’ve been shown on the astral plane.


In the next situation I’m waking up in my townhouse. Out of nowhere several bros come down and this guy I used to hang out with in college is there.


“Hey did you get that woman’s number from last night.”


I have no idea what he’s talking about.


“What woman? I don’t remember any woman and it doesn’t seem like I was that drunk.”


“You were to shy to go up and flirt I guess.”


I again have no idea what he’s talking about but I concede that this is a possibility. Maybe I was too shy to chat with her. You’d think I’d remember though.

 

“She said she wanted to watch you die. That’s what she said. You really should have gone and talked to her.”


Uhhh, sure.  

 

5/28/2024 –


I’m walking down this white hallway when I pass by these 2 people I went to high school with. They both look like they’re in their late 40’s like me and it’s the way we just walk past each other without saying anything, as if we’re always walking by one another in the hallways that strikes me as strange. Wait a minute, what? What’s going on here? Oh shit, I’m dreaming. And then there’s this huge revelation. All these classes I’ve been going to, it’s all happening in the dream world. I’m not doing this in the waking world at all. All of this is happening on the other side. How have I still not grasped this?  


With this lucidity, I go downstairs to the classroom I had previously left and start flying around the room. I’m not flying very effortlessly but the students are starting to notice. The long-haired hippie teacher dude is also noticing but sort of trying to pretend that he’s not, while his essence starts almost phasing out of reality. It’s like my flying around his classroom has made his solidity as a human start to unravel.



My tether to the dream starts to unravel as well and I wake up.


When I get back under, I’m now hanging out with my brother. He’s got this souped up robotic truck that we’re sitting in and he wants my opinion on something. So we get out of the souped up truck and he’s all:


“I’m considering racing either this truck or this in the big race.”


The other option he’s referencing is this single shoe, which is an aquamarine New Balance shoe. Not a pair of shoes mind you. It then opens up its insides to reveal all this complicated tech circuitry. Then it closes up again and just looks like a shoe while it goes racing down the driveway. A very cool looking shoe I might add, which I point out to him.


“I sank a lot of money into this race, so I really want to win.”


He tells me, although I must confess that I’m not sure whether the tech truck or single aquamarine shoe is the better option.


Now I’m on a bus where I once again go lucid. I’m heading home from the Invisible College but I’m once again realizing that there’s no reason for me to take the bus. I can freaking fly. So I phase out of the back of the bus but I immediately start remembering the advanced lucidity techniques I’m supposed to be working on rather than flying. I start wandering the city streets knowing that I’m dreaming but you know what? I don’t think this environment is stable enough for me to pull off the advanced stuff. This proves to be correct as the whole thing fades shortly thereafter.


In one more scenario, I realize I’m living in a school library, which I think is fairly cool. Like, I’ve got this condo that just so happens to be attached to this school library. I leave for a bit and when I come back I realize this might not be as cool as I was anticipating. I have my own separate rooms and all but the main area is absolutely packed with kids. I’m not sure how to deal with this but I kind of jump in and start assisting the kids as best as I can.


This group of metal dudes in their 20’s eventually show up. They’re releasing a new batch of band t-shirts and want my help getting some good modeling pictures of them. I’m going to take the photos while they model. One of the tees has this gorgeous golden butterfly type image displayed against the background and the band’s name is Psychic Something. I very much should have written this down. I want to say Psychic Amplifier but that’s not it. Psychic Acumen? Psychic Avenue? Still not getting it. It was something with an A. Very cool t-shirt and concept though. I gotta give the kids credit.



5/29/2024 –


I can’t say I understand this scenario at all but I’m for some reason planning this escape from a certain predicament. Or is it even that? It seems like an escape but in a way that doesn’t seem to be the point either. It seems to be righting some wrong. Anyway, I’m going outside the place that I’m staying at and for some reason on the street right next to it, I’m painting these yellow arrow markers in the lawn near the street with the same stuff they paint football fields with I imagine. A couple people are helping me do this and I must confess I’m a bit paranoid about it. With all the Ring cameras and what not these days, won’t someone catch us putting these arrows down? Even if they do, who’s genuinely going to care I suppose.


So these arrows are designed to lead the car on the correct route and the car is this all black astral plane Dodge Challenger looking thing that I’m seeing in my mind’s eye as I’m visualizing it. The arrows lead the car down this one road, then it cuts up this other road and that’s it. That’s the road out of town and it can take it from there. We’re following this path and my coconspirators are now standing a ways away from the house on the correct road out of town.


I gotta be honest, the fact that we had to plot this is sort of crazy because like, it’s roughly 2 turns. You hit this one road out of the place you’re staying at, then you take this one other turn. There was like one other option. I’d say this is ridiculous but the more I contemplated it, the more I realized that it’s right in tune with what I’ve been shown about life paths in general. It’s like a narrative video game where there are only a couple different options you can take.


It’s so late at night that the sun is coming up and wow. This is reminding me of the dreams I just had. I was on a trip in a foreign country with a crew of weirdos and man did they like to stay up until the sun was coming up. I’d be sort of following them around like, aiight. I suppose we’re going to go all night yet again.


I genuinely wish I could recall more of these seemingly European excursions but the main thing I can say is that it involved hanging with a motley crew of freaky people staying up late at night and that’s it. Standing in the early morning light is making me oddly nostalgic for this thing that just happened and was quickly forgotten. Of course, in Seattle it’s so far north that you don’t even have to stay up that late during the summers before the sun’s already coming up. 


Eventually this leads to me heading out to go visit the functional family as I call them. In this sitch, they’re living in this remote but absolutely gorgeous mountain house. It’s a very modest house but my lord. It’s the middle of summer and the views are absolutely fucking stunning. Just insane. What do I remember about this scenario though? Well, going to sleep in my guest bedroom, then lying in bed in liminal states not knowing what the fuck was going on. I mainly just wanted to make sure I get some snaps of the absolutely stunning summer mountain scenery before I head back out. Good times.

 





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