6/19/2023 -
After last night I was told my dreams would carry over to the following night and this night starts off with a very similar experience in that I pull out of a visionary state and immediately know it's beyond human narrative comprehension. No point in trying to remember the depths of what was going on there because it's beyond my capabilities.
Except that when I pull out of this state it was then translated in a sense and what was explained to me is very odd. I'm told that on another level of reality I'm some sort of hotel heir. What being a higher dimensional hotel heir would even entail I have no idea but I do keep having those dreams about being in a high rise condo situation that I don't get at all. As a matter of fact, I have a ton of dreams about being in hotels and traveling in general, despite the fact that I travel less than pretty much anyone I know, nor do I really have any desire to.
Sensing my confusion I then get the vibes that:
"This explains the screens."
So, the thousand eyed god being that has a direct line to intermittently posses the lives of thousands of people in the human realm? That thing?
I still obviously don't grasp it entirely outside of the idea that this realm is a vacation of sorts for various otherworldly denizens of the astral plane with very strange taste in entertainment. I was shown a vacation brochure years ago about visiting beautiful hell, and of course hell is this bullshit. It's school and a vacation destination simultaneously?
Again, I don't really understand but they further explain to me the same shit they've been showing me for years. This whole vacation into what we view as corporeality is something that made sense for the rest of my family but there were downsides in it for me, mainly that I would go through a spell of being very very bored. Metaphorically it's not like everyone is going to enjoy every vacation so this tracks. I was in fact very bored on most of the vacations my family took when I was kid. Oh to be an overly creative type in a family of squares.
Anywho, there's a lot to wrap my head around there and I'll have to dig for more clues moving forward but as things moved on to the dream portion of the night, would you believe, more partying? The prevalence of this theme legit made me contemplate why it keeps showing up. I haven't partied with any regularity in over a decade now so it's pretty interesting that my psychic life is seemingly giving me this thing that I apparently still crave and is wholly absent from waking life. When was the last time I've even been to a party that wasn't like 4 people I've known for 20 years? I don't even know.
Were there women there I was flirting with? Of course, but nothing super out of line to piss off my wife this time. I will say that again, when was the last time I've even flirted with a woman? I uhh, I've been with my wife for 17 years now, so nearly that long. This sort of excitement is a basic human desire and it's been cut out from under me as I've gotten older and so, here it is in my dream life, over and over. It's most definitely like my dreams are giving me the exact things I don't get in my actual life anymore, which is sort of fascinating.
What was different about this party? Well, it was almost like my wife and I had joined some church or organization. It was a situation where we were just sort of gifted a large group of friends by signing up and I remember at one point in the dream thinking:
"I get this. I understand why people would want a built in social structure."
But I also found it slightly creepy and suspect, just like in actual life. The most interesting thing that happened during this extended party was that at one point, a group of like 15 of the party people including my wife calculatedly stripped down naked and suddenly there was this implication that it was freezing cold in the room. Like they were doing some Wim Hoff cold Yoga shit...in the middle of a large house with lots of other people. You could tell they were pushing their bodies pretty hard and we were all like cheering for them to make it through their 5 minutes of self imposed torture. Except none of the rest of us in the room were cold at all. None of it made a ton of sense but since my wife does run marathons now, I mean, it does fit right in with her personality type. I was not surprised that she was into this.
Then back in the kitchen this tall slender bald black guy in an orange T-shirt went on a rant about how they were the real hardcore ones who were committed to this organization. I actually asked him to explain this again and then told him he was a fucking idiot. Truth = I do think this sort of spirituality is kind of missing the point, although I respect it.
What else? The only other thing I remember about this party is that as it's winding down, various phones are ringing and we're all guessing about who they're calling for. This makes no sense in the modern cell phone age but that's what was going down. Someone's phone would ring and we'd all guess who the person on the other line was looking to talk to. That was the fun game we were playing.
6/20/2023 -
I watched this interview with some of the participants in the extended length DMT study that just happened and while I'm drifting into a liminal state I'm informed that:
"You close yourself off to us most of the time."
Which is I'm sure entirely true. I only seem to truly open myself up to them at night while meditating before bed, which is I figure something that's necessary for me to exist our shit show reality but possibly not. Possibly I could be more open to the continual presence of other dimensional weirdos in my mundane waking states.
On the dream front I find myself by the dancefloor at this unspecified wedding. A classic rock tune comes on and my uncle gets super excited to which I come over and go on a rant that's something to the effect of:
"They've created algorithms that are going to regurgitate the music of your generation back to the youth forever and ever and you know, eventually all of these artists are going to be dead so they'll be no concert revenue there. It's so shitty."
And with that my perspective moves away from the scene while the track Evil Men by Captain Beyond plays in the background.
Perfect and because I just discovered that album I have been on a bit of a classic rock jag lately, which is admittedly abnormal for me. On a strangely synchronous note as I'm checking my groceries the next morning a woman comes up next to me and starts chatting up the self checkout attendant about how she's going to see Diana Ross after work and she seems younger than me. Enjoy it while you can. When my consciousness finally rides this crescendo out of sleep and into hypnagogia I'm informed:
"At least its not super materialistic!"
Fair point. Popular music not long after the Telecommunications Act of 1996 is mostly just capitalist cheerleading bullshit by design, so I suppose there is a weird upside to this nostalgia recycling corruption.
Now I'm back in our old place in Ohio and my step mom is doing one of her dumb psychology experiments where she gathers a bunch of people around a table and wants us to envision what it's going to be like 3 years after my dad dies. The strangeness here being that as far as I can tell my brother and I are the only ones who even knew our Dad out of this group. I'm rolling my eyes but I sit down and she gives us these like gift basket things which are filled with a bag of tools. To open this gift bag I for some reason have to sit between these 2 enormous very good looking men wearing all black and as I'm opening it I'm joking about how I don't really know how to fix anything as I'm not really the handy man type. I'm not even sure what the first tool I'm pulling out of the bag is but they inform me that it's a transformer, which I did in fact sort of know. Although you know, it's not a tool but rather a part.
When I leave the experiment I realize there are all these people in town for the wedding and a lot of them are very very trashy. In fact, one's openly wearing a goddamn confederate flag outfit. Jesus. And so I go into my bedroom and one of the kids wants to put a candle right in the middle of my bed on the mattress but I'm like, no, that's obviously dangerous. She's super pissed about this and storms out of the room but I'm like:
"You can put it anywhere else, just not on the bed itself."
That's about all I remember.
6/21/2023 -
Here I'm hanging out at some sort of low key paranormal convention in a dimly lit very large house/mansion, which is large for an abode but fairly small for a conference. Greg Newkirk is there and I'm chatting with him before the thing starts. He's telling me about some horror film from the past he's recommending but he's not describing it very well and he can't remember the name. Then he's like:
"Scanners! That's it."
And I'm like, oh yeah, Scanners is great. Cronenberg is one of my favorites. Then I go on a rant trying to sell him on the last 2 Brandon Cronenberg films (which are both excellent) and he's oblivious to their existence. The next thing I know I'm apparently doing an improv set on stage with some unknown band, except that I'm for some reason playing the keyboard rather than guitar. I'm also facing backwards rather than facing the crowd and have my shirt off. Anyway we go through this set and it's sort of funny because essentially it's like I fell asleep or went into a deep trance. The drummer is supposed to be cueing me as to when the jam is going to wrap up with a particular fill and even though I'm essentially asleep, I recognize the cue and stick the transition into the landing perfectly.
Then I nonchalantly get up, put my Pink Floyd shirt back and am confused by the whole thing. Why did I take my shirt off? Also, why was I facing backwards the whole time? Who knows. I continue to hang out at this convention though for whatever reason. Eventually the Newkirk's are going to do their presentation and after it starts it's like this more important figure in the paranormal entertainment business arrives and then everything stops while this guy makes his way around the small room and settles in. I'd say there's maybe like 50 people there sitting in folding chairs in this place.
Eventually the super important paranormal entertainment dude is settled and they go back into their bit, except that they've now moved the stage to the other side of the main room. One funny thing here is that I have a tiny bowl filled with soy sauce from the sushi I ate earlier and I have nowhere to put it. I'm worried it'd going to spill so I just suck down the remaining amount and the person sitting next to me is like:
"Wow that's gross!"
But I didn't want to get up and disturb the presentation again to get rid of my soy sauce. Anyway they go into their presentation and it somehow involves a group of them stacking themselves on top of each other while lying on the ground while Greg rants like a circus ring leader. It genuinely doesn't make sense but I do get the gist. These people are performers and not serious people or researchers. This is just entertainment.
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