6/14/2023 -
Continual liminal state visions about being entities of light in the higher exerting our control over entities of darkness on the lower realms. In this situation the entities of darkness look like circular blobs of smoke navigating through bland office building type hallways.
This was actually the second night in a row with the same thing and previously I was told that to them:
"There is no corporeal. There is no corporeality."
And that is what they're showing me. They're seeing us as lower level forms of flowing dark narrative energy. Not bodies. Not people.
On the dream front I have an extended one where we're in my grandparent's old place in the Columbia gorge. The only things I remember about this dream are that at one point we're staring at the gorgeous view and it's clouded by wildfire smoke. Ahh, some sould crushing realism on the astral plane there.
The other thing is that at one point both my cousin and I have apparently just graduated college and we're being asked what we're going to do afterwards. Both of us have no clue and we're just like:
"Uhhh, I don't know. Hang out here and stare at the view I suppose."
Except that the view will be increasingly obfuscated by wildfire smoke as time goes on, which I'm pretty sure was the point. We can't just hang out here in the human realm forever.
6/15/2023 -
Honestly I think the crap mattress bad sleep from the prior week is still catching up with me as this is 2 consecutive nights with fairly muted visionary states and general mental exhaustion. I did have a couple dreams though.
In one I'm hanging out with this very random person from my collegiate past where? In my old basement apartment because of course. We're almost doing like a double date thing with his girlfriend and my wife. We're getting ready to head to a concert or something but my wife has to leave to grab something. While she's gone I start telling him how we actually live in a much nicer townhouse now and when I'm thinking about it, Jesus, I should basically go lucid every time I find myself in situation, shouldn't I? I mean, I have gone lucid by embracing this exact incongruence before but how dumb am I? I'm fully aware that the circumstances don't remotely track.
Now I'm taking a bus downtown to work, which is something I haven't done in nearly a decade at this point. Halfway there I realize I left my laptop at home which is no big deal because oh well, I guess I'll have to work at home like I usually do. So I get off at the next stop which is the shadiest bus stop in the universe as it's essentially right in the middle of a highway off ramp with a barrier made of crumbling cement. It starts raining and I realize that there are dark pit sinkholes deep beneath the part of the city I'm standing on that will suck it down eventually. I can see them in my mind's eye. Then I realize that's my job. That's what I'm supposed to be doing, finding out where these perilous pits are going to suck the city down and figure out a way to prevent it...I guess. It's not really clear. What is obvious though is that it's a reference to The Sinking City video game that I've been playing. And yeah, it has been slow working from home this week so...
Now I'm in my Mom's old place on Beacon Hill and once again with the failed lucidity triggers. At one point I'm up on the second floor looking out the window and it's like I'm on the 60th floor of a downtown New York high rise circa 1966 looking straight down. The architecture looks dated as hell and I know something's very off here but I can't put my finger on it because I'm a moron. When I'm in the living room a current Seattle skyline is now somehow just outside and glowing in a surrealist almost negative dimension sort of way, as if my mom's house is the penthouse on top of a freaky liminal state condo tower. Still it doesn't click. I go upstairs and put on my mom's giant feminine glasses. I look just like her 30 years ago when I check myself out in the mirror. How peculiar. And yet I still don't get it. Lucid dreaming ain't easy kids. I've been at this forever and I still fuck it up, even with the difficulty on super duper easy.
6/16/2023 -
I was just complaining about the lack of vividity in my dreams and here it returns. Jesus Christ, the intensity of this experience is off the goddam charts. Obviously this was all inspired by me watching Star Trek Discovery before I went to bed as the whole thing has similar vibes but we're not in outer space. We're seemingly just a group of arty people working on some sort of project together and that's when the seemingly malevolent godlike alien creature makes it's presence known. It comes across as this slick looking short haired white guy wearing a blue almost Starfleet looking suit with this gold light energy lurking beneath his eyes.
He uses this energy to wage what seems like an attack on our troupe of weirdos and it takes us a bit to figure out what the angle is. At first it seems like even though we all sensed this presence launching some sort of attack, none of us can tell if anything at all happened and some of us have work to do independently for this project so they split off to take care of their business. Then like in a TV show the story shifts into each of the people who split from the group's individual plots away from the group and in each of these scenarios a clone of the person manifests itself and won't leave the person alone.
What's genuinely humorous and metaphorical about this is that despite the eerie vibes and supposed menace of these magickally cloned entities, I genuinely can't tell what's evil about them. They're persistent and the main issue is simply that they won't go away. I watch these clones harass a couple of my peeps from a 3rd person TV show style perspective and the one main thing I remember is this slightly overweight younger white dude with a light brown beard and tattoos who's tending some unspecified type of crop out in what seems like an urban field. His carbon copy won't go away or leave him alone while he's trying to get his farm on.
Everyone in this scenario is super charming and good looking just like on most TV shows and the metaphor is so poignant and over the top. This anomalous entity has saddled us with ourselves, a force we can't escape. Only the people who go into isolation encounter themselves in this way too. Gee, whatever could that mean? The intensity of the whole experience is what can't be understated here though. It's something else, particularly the way my perspective keeps hopping in between the crew and from inside their heads into outside looking at them from a 3rd person distance.
And even though my perspective has been hopping between different people's heads and into disembodied states wildly, there is a main character who I'm primarily inhabiting. Several people are now reporting these experiences and it's like, yeah, we all felt the psychic attack from that slick looking freak entity, didn't we? They're telling me because they know I'm the only one that can do anything about it (seemingly because I'm also a bit of a slick white guy myself, no really, again with the metaphors). And so I'm like, no probs, I'll take this thing out.
I use my space wizardry to track it down fairly easily and here's where it gets freaky, I now start biting into its eyeball. The deeper I bite, the more orange living light energy pierces into outdoor space where we're hanging. They're all standing around watching while I bite into the dude's skull and this is so odd that I am in fact weirded out by it, yet I know if I don't break up his energetic structure sufficiently, he'll continue to return. Basic astral logic shit. It's why I have a super speed Wolverine persona that light speed tears things to shreds on the other side. I'm crewed up and this is what my crew wants me to do, but I don't feel great about it. In fact, I take pause and am sort of like, you know what, I'll find another way to deal with this but it requires me taking him away from everyone and doing my own thing for a while.
And this seems to work. Everything goes back to normal except the character of me the main sorcerer dude has in fact been gone the entire time. Now I'm in the bearded dude's head and he's wondering if me as the main mystic did in fact resolve the problem. Just as he's thinking this I now re-emerge to the camp except that I've changed. I've got this new cigar smoking stand up comedian Kenny Loggins persona. No really. It's like the sorcerer merged with the freaky slick white guy entity. I'm in the farmer dude's head here and he is not optimistic about this development.
That's where the dream cuts out and I could prolly spend another hour writing about the metaphors involved. Is merging with the light being and turning into a slick cosmic Kenny Loggins looking stand up comedian bro a good thing?
I'm suspicious for sure. The next thing I remember though is that I'm playing basketball. I'm dribbling up the court and I think I can execute a fancy no look pass from the top of the key but my defender reads it and steals it no problem, then cuts back down the court. I'm pissed and so I cook back on D determined to get a chase down block or steal and am pissed when I realize I'm not going to make it in time. Motherfucker just punked me.
Except that my brother did hustle back and even though he didn't get in great position the guy also tries to get too fancy and jump passes to his teammate who's also racing down the court. Which is when I swoop in and toss his shit back in about the most intimidating fashion imaginable. Again with the metaphors. If I wouldn't have been so pissed about my fuck up, I never would have hustled back, and even though I wasn't quick enough to get back to stop the initial attack, the anger hustle put me in the exact right place to get my revenge...on myself really. I wasn't mad at the dude for picking the pass, I was pissed that I made a careless play. Such a rich exploration of human psychology is such a rapidly compressed burst of astral telepathy, with a theme identical to the dream that proceeded it.
The night continues with me hanging out once again with "the functional family" as I call them. Here they're planning this enormous party and I must confess, it is in fact goddamn extravagant. I mean, it's like a ridiculous rich people multi day sprawling extravaganza. This seems like it goes on forever and what I really remember is that the next morning I'm hanging out with this gorgeous woman member of the family who honestly isn't very popular. She's your prototypical white almost porn star looking brunette. I don't know her very well but her family considers her very loose we shall say and she's openly a terrible mom. In fact, as I'm sitting there talking to her slightly hungover she's talking about how she doesn't give a fuck about her kids, right in front of her kids.
Yeah, she is a piece of shit and they tried to tell me about this. The dad of the family now comes over to me and is just like:
"You know, that was a pretty disappointing performance last night."
He's annoyed although it's not too bad, but I now live through the party night's festivities and yeah, I did in fact get way too drunk and then sort of openly let this creepy woman fawn all over me in front of my wife simply because she's super hot. I mean, just getting super drunk at what's essentially a family gathering is embarrassing in itself.
Anwho, we're hanging out and I actually hear them sort of say they wish some of the people who have stayed on after the party would head out but they're not going to say this to them out of politeness. I then get this overwhelming psychic realization that, yeah, this is what these people do? They throw these ridiculous parties. It's a thing. I get the hint though and have to wrench my brother out of the sitch as he wants to play this weird shooting game while hovering around the floating red mesas of their enormous back yard.
I do manage to finally get him out of there and we settle back at our own rather extravagant place where we put on a movie on our huge projection screen under the winding spiral staircase in our living room. What are we watching? A Ralph Bakshi Mickey Mouse film. This is the second time now artists doing subversive stuff with copyright lapsed properties has come up in my dreams. The first time it was an arty Bugs Bunny haunted house video game. I imagine this is absolutely a glimpse of the future and truthfully, it's kind of stupid.
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