7/31/2023 -
I get under in this deep dream state but when I pull out of it all I can remember is that I arranged an amazing end to the scenario I was creating. Yet another example of a situation where it's not like I couldn't remember what was going on, it was just that I was in a state so unfamiliar to human perception I couldn't piece it together. It was like I was outside of a human narrative that looked sort of like black vortex and I threw this cool ending into whatever story it was that I was concocting, which kind of looked like a cresting wave icon.
Then in a hypnagogic state I'm told something I've been told before, which is that I've essentially been put in prison, which is what my life is currently like. I must confess: holy shit is it boring. It's explained that this has to do with a misstep I made years back and that I would be getting out at some point in the near future. Although near future to my higher self could be years and years to me on the ground. I'm also shown that me going to jail like this actually made me stronger in an odd way i.e. there is a payoff to it. Something to do with an ability to resist the delusional groupthink our entire society is beholden to.
Now in a dream state I'm at yet another family gathering except that what's odd here is that it's morning and yet everyone is getting out of bed and just munching down on what would seem to be much later in the day food options. It's like a full dinner spread with hors d'oeuvres is all set up waiting for everybody who's just waking up. We're all sitting around chatting like it's cocktail hour too, and my dad tells this story about how he witnessed a car accident and then went over to help.
When he did, it was right in front of this house that was growing shit tons of weed in their front yard. The owner of the house came out to help as well and explained that since he was a Native American, he was allowed to grow as much weed as he wanted non commercially right out in the open. And I'm like:
"Well we certainly did fuck over the Native Americans, so..."
Then my brother interjects with:
"Well you know what I always say, if the constitution was printed on hemp we'd live in quite a different society."
And immediately I'm thinking: Wait, isn't that something Terrence McKenna used to say? Except that an attractive blonde woman with short hair I'm not familiar with sitting next to me interjects and points this out before I can. I had to look it up upon waking up and the quote is actually:
"If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness' don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on."
Now I'm in an office or school building type environment and we're at the finish line for some race, which is just inside this large doorway. It's crowded and there are people on both sides cheering. We can hear the participants coming and now we witness a young Michael J. Fox speed in through the doors and slide past the finish line on his stomach like he was a baseball player, except, his closest competitor wasn't nearly close enough to warrant this. Dude is at least another 30 seconds behind him.
What's funny though is that there is no finish line painted on the ground so I jokingly start going:
"Oh shit man, you just missed it. You had to go 2 more feet."
I'm only joking though because he obviously won in purposely dramatic fashion.
8/1/2023 -
Continual hypnagogic visions of decked out psychedelic dune buggies. Lots of them. That's it. Hours of my conscious states being bombarded by tricked out dune buggies with choice hyper-color paint jobs. I'd say this is completely random but I had been listening to the Fu Manchu album Daredevil for the last few days and the album art on that features a dune buggy. A gray one mind you but uhhh, sure.
As far as dreams, I'm supposed to be going out to party or whatever late at night with a couple of friends but they apparently never show up and I fall asleep instead. I'm now awakened by a man standing right outside the large window I'm sleeping in front of and holy fucking shit does this startle me. Ahh, waking up from being asleep while sleeping. Always trippy. I believe I've mentioned this before. Here the sensation of waking up with a strange person standing right outside my window staring in is just as shocking and disorienting as it would be in the waking world.
I have absolutely no clue what's going on but I run to the front door to see what the fuck is up and realize that it's the son from what I've been referring to as the functional family. Nothing to worry about. He's apparently just getting home from partying all night and this revelation leads me to the realization that my friends never showed up. Fuck, it's 6:30 in the morning already?
Jesus, well, I have to get to work and I don't want to work here, so I'm going to head back to my place. So I get in my car and start this journey but in doing so I finally realize something important, which is? I'm not supposed to go back to my old basement apartment. There's a part of me that still thinks this is the right answer but another part of me knows better. No, the new place.
And so I head to this new pad and it's a variation of the "new place" I've visited quite a few times now, which decidedly isn't the townhouse I've been living in for the last 9 years. It's a house and in this situation a fairly large one. I realize that I've already missed a couple hours of work so I'm frantically scrambling to get all my stuff in the house and set up to remote in. Except that somehow in the course of this, I sit down and take a break in the kitchen/dinning room area, which has an amazing view. In fact, wow, a lot has changed since the last time I marveled at this view.
All these new developments have been built next to us and sort of below the hill we're on and honestly, they don't look like normal buildings. They're futuristic but almost fantasy inspired simultaneously, as if they've been constructed partially using mushroom tech. I mean, a lot of the buildings look like they're made out of mushrooms in a weird way. Also, sometimes this place has a coastal view but when I look in that direction it's now a fantastical cityscape instead. That's it really. Me admiring this view is the only interesting aspect to this dream and once again, it really should have made me go lucid but it didn't. The surreal nature of what I was marveling at should have absolutely let me know that I was dreaming but what can I say, shit ain't easy.
Also, while lying in bed and still mostly awake, I manage to put myself in a state where I'm exploring this new house for another half hour or so before I get up, but this is super duper strange because for some reason the act of doing so is making me extra drowsy. And not just drowsy but I also feel like I'm dead ass stoned as hell. So half awake/half asleep and exploring this psychic architecture in state that feels like I've taken100 Indica bong rips, despite the fact that I'm sober. Can I remember something like this happening before? Nope.
One other thing. I sober meditated before work and most of the time when I do this I have a very hard time remembering any visionary element to the experience but this time I do and I'm only mentioning it because it's so peculiar. I'm with a group of people and we're walking down to a beach. When we get there, there's this section of the beach well away from the water with these thin white pikes with like large bowls mounted on top of them. In these large bowls are small black rubber jets. When we get to these, we somehow know what we're supposed to do with them, which is toss them into the sand playfully, which we start doing. So you know, just tossing black rubber jets into the sand. That's the vision.
8/2/2023 -
This entire dream just felt like one failed lucidity trigger after another. It starts at my brother's birthday party in the classic recurring high rise condo scenario. All I really remember here is that everyone is leaving and that I'm supposed to be going out to party late with my brother and one of his other friends. And so we head out but the second we start heading out I remember that I have COVID and am like. Wait, why was I even here in the first place? I really shouldn't be involved with any of this.
And yet I continue. I'd count that as lucidity trigger number 1. So we take the elevator down to the first communal floor of this high rise building and sit down for a bit with all these other people watching a huge TV in an open space rec room type situation with a bunch of leather couches. I ask my brother what you'd call this area and he responds:
"Uhhh, a TV lounge I guess."
Cool. Now we head to a bar in a like downtown mall type scenario and grab drinks but my brother immediately heads out to grab a new phone so I sit and chat with his friend for a while although I have zero clue what we talk about. My brother eventually comes back with his new phone and what's sort of funny is that I'm a tad judgey about him getting a new phone because I know he just got one not long ago. But he's super excited about his new football package. He wants me to check it out so he crams the phone in my face but it's total glitch-ville. There is no football on the TV but just colorful static. You can sort of make out some images behind the glitching static but not really. For a while my entire consciousness becomes this colorful glitching static and I know none of this make any sense and yet, does it make me go lucid? Nope. Failed lucidity trigger number 2.
I do wake up though and when I get back under we're leaving the mall type bar we were at to head to another one. Except when we get outside, my brother and his friend dart into another building and I for some reason can't follow them. Instead I'm digging through these dark tunnels. It's the same dark tunnel they entered but I'm feeling around blindly and it doesn't seem like there's anywhere to go. What the fuck? I know this makes no sense and we're now at roughly failed lucidity trigger number 3.
I eventually give up and head outside and am like: Well, I guess I'll head home. And yet I know my car is back in the high rise parking lot which is a ways away. I also have to drive quite a ways back home and I'm pretty drunk. None of this seems plausible, so I sit and stare at the super cool dream skyscrapers for a while in a daze. I sort of think I might be dreaming because they're so surreal and excellent but nah. Failed lucidity trigger #4.
I once again do wake up though and eventually get back under. Now I've found the bar they were headed to but I can't locate them in the place. So I sit there drinking in this semi-swanky first floor window encased establishment for a bit before my brother's friend locates me. I then head over to join them on the other side of the bar and it's like they're fucking with this group of European people who are drinking next to them at a large table by pretending they're prototypical idiot Americans. I don't really want to play along with this charade but I do half-assedly.
But I also get lost staring out the enormous windows right by our table. What the fuck? Why is there a bunch of swirling fire in the sky over the Queen Anne Hill? It's kind of gorgeous in a weird way but what the hell is going on exactly? I try and get other people to look and no one other than me seems remotely impressed or alarmed by the spectacle which I kind of can't believe. I mean, the city is straight up morphing into new configurations and there are like circular fire storms in the sky. I must confess that all of this is gorgeous from an art direction standpoint and by far the coolest visual element of the dream but again, no one other than me finds it compelling in any way.
That'd be failed lucidity trigger #5 at least and I wake up shortly thereafter. I've said it once and I'll say it again: lucid dreaming is way more difficult than you'd think it'd be. I've been at it for like 27 years now and I'm not sure how I could have fucked that up any worse.
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