9/30/2023 -
Upon learning that a former bandmate of mine was far more of a piece of shit than I honestly wanted to believe earlier in the night, I enter a ganj-i-tation trance. An image pops into my consciousness of a crowded formula one racing type event, except that it actually looks more dangerous than a regular earth world race. It's actually far more likely that a participant will accidentally fly dangerously off the track and out of contention.
I'm now told that:
"I don't believe that you went to church!"
This tracks. I haven't seen this creep in years but he was a condescending atheist when I was hanging with him and he later told me he had almost a religious experience on an airplane after his father died. It clearly didn't get through. I was then thinking about how everything about his current situation is awful in about every direction and I'm told:
"Dream logic. Your thoughts are not quiet."
This resonates in myriad ways. In this case, his thoughts manifested in him being a total shitbag. Behavior comes from thoughts. Also, exactly what I've been saying forever. Thinking your internal processes are private is a fundamentally incorrect way of perceiving the universe. These things are related and he was never right spiritually even sort of, which fundamentally destroyed him.
I slip into an extended deep dream state after this with themes involving dark and light forces within religious factions but the only thing I truly remember is this:
We're explorers on some alien planet and we encounter this large surrealist looking 4 legged mushroom creature. Not like toad stool mushrooms but the flat jagged fungi topped ones. Turkey tail vibes and not just on its head either, jagged fungi patterns flowering from all it's beige joints. As far as I can tell it has no discernable face and I know I'm not explaining that right but the whole thing is quite obviously influenced by the alien designs in Starfield, except that these things are goddamn adorable in a very peculiar way.
Anyway, this creature sees our group of explorers and we're like:
"Fuck. Now we have to pretend like we're killing ourselves."
So it thinks it's seen a ghost or whatever. This is like the prime directive protocol of this particular universe and I think it's total bullshit honestly. But we go along with it and the creature turns its back as we pretend to shoot ourselves with this old timey musket looking gun. It has to be 3 shots per protocol for unknown reasons.
"Boom!.......Boom!......Boom!"
After each shot the creature is uncontrollably writhing in deep emotional pain. It's really hard to watch. I feel terrible and I look at my compatriots like:
"Why? Why can't we just show it that we're still right fucking here!"
Why indeed.
What I love is that after writing this I felt this weird pull to do some iPod shuffle divination and the first two songs that came up were the stalker anthem Every Breath I Take by the Police and Sick Man by Alice in Chains. That pretty much sums it the situation with my former bandmate quite succinctly.
10/1/2023 -
Only one vision all night. Two men are in some sort of bare knuckle boxing competition. One is wearing a blue fighting outfit, the other is wearing a red one. I'd say they're fighting on the edge of a cliff but that's not accurate, it's like one of those rare desert rock spires where a narrow section of rock is elevated in the air. Like an incredibly narrow natural bridge made of rock in the sky. There's an enormous drop off on each side, meaning either fighter could easily plummet to their death with a single misstep or landed blow. Same theme as last night with the perilous F1 racing metaphor honestly. Our world is a shitty blood sport spectacle. The ratings are higher when someone falls to their doom.
Almost as if making up for the sparse night of psi I do remember a few things from my morning meditation session. Here a smooth looking white dude with short gel infused dark hair slicked backed and parted to the left wearing a custom gray suit is showing me around this fancy, I'd say at least 20 story high end hotel/casino looking building with the classic all windows top floor.
"In this world, it's incredibly important to have a place."
He pitches me. The place looks nice for sure but also, the guy pitching it seems shady as fuck and I'd guess involved with some form of organized crime. I'm sure that's the point.
Now I see a well dressed kid sitting at a fancy table in a restaurant. He casually sucks down a weed candy and then takes a sip from his glass of red wine. He's obviously too young for these things.
10/2/2023 -
The same thing I get often where it's like I'm floating above my body slightly above myself. There's a different spin on it this time though as it bleeds into the dream world. Now I'm floating above the heads of various corporeal characters and entering their minds.
When I do, wearing a body feels like wearing a helmet. There's even a sort of snap tight sensation I keep going through to make sure the bodies stay on as I'm temporarily possessing them. There's an orange energy between the seems of the skull that I have to seal shut when I'm ready to roll out in a new person. Interesting.
This goes on for most of the night and I'm almost disappointed that I'm not going to remember any of the associated dreams, but then I do. Now I'm shooting down large hills on a skateboard lying face first on my stomach. Sort of like body boarding in a way but on a skateboard rather than a surf board and riding down hills rather than waves.
This is fun and I do it for quite a while but the odd part is that there's this memory that it's an activity I engage it quite often. Do I? The memory is there while inhabiting this particular dream form but I've been keeping a daily dream journal for 9 months and this is the first it's come up. It feels like this is standard practice though and there absolutely seems to be a degree of lucidity to it. I know I can't do this in actual life but something triggers the idea that it's possible in a dream state. Not much different that flying around for fun.
After playfully zipping down hills for quite a while I eventually find myself in a college town type environment. There's this trendy dive bar/cafe that I'm apparently a regular at, replete with the pretty younger tattooed waitress I obviously have a crush on but try to interact with as little as possible because I know everyone else has a crush on her and I don't want it to be awkward for her as her customer. At one point I walk in early in the day to see if they have any CD's I can browse through, quickly realize that they don't, then try and walk out before she sees me but she's onto me.
"We do have the new NBA2K!"
She informs me. Shit, she's got me. I'm probably going to buy it now because she called me out although I normally wait until mid season when it costs nothing. I keep coming back to this bar and at one point I'm just there people watching in a dream. It doesn't even seem like I'm drinking, just finishing my breakfast and slowly sipping at multiple cups of coffee while enjoying the scenery.
Now it's later in the afternoon and this other much younger voluptuous rocker looking white woman with long reddish hair has decided that she's my slave. I didn't ask for this but it's a role playing exercise she's committed to. She's following me around repeatedly telling me she'll do whatever I want. I don't have any great ideas being in the middle of a restaurant but I believe I do make her go and grab me drinks a few times. Eventually she returns with another thicc rocker looking woman and I'm like.
"Well, I didn't really ask for this but fine work slave."
To which we leave to head back to my place which is apparently nearby. The implied threesome is cut out of the memory here and the next thing I know I'm hanging with this dude I haven't seen in a million years. He's picking us up at my bar/regular spot and it's like we've just gotten off school so now it's time to socialize. We load up in his car with friends and head to what we think is going to be a movie or concert or something but ends up being some sort of college class presentation, to which we're all disappointed.
Before the thing starts I'm telling him about my sex slave threesome dream, in a dream, and while I'm telling him this I'm wondering why I am because I know he's never been interested in dreams. Anyway, when the thing starts the lights cut and I immediately fall asleep. The next thing I know I'm meeting the dude at the back and we're getting the hell out of there.
"Man, I can't stay awake during this shit."
I tell him and he's all:
"Yeah, I immediately fell asleep and then woke up crying."
We're out.
Also, while you're here, do you like psychedelic industrial noise rock? Of course you do
Comentarios