5/12/2023 -
A night time spent with the supportive family. This is the family that's not my real family but is actually super supportive of me and not insanely dysfunctional. This is once again a fairly long dream but the main highlights involve when I'm shown the beat off room. So you know, if you wake up in the middle of the night you can go shake one out in this room that's got the huge TV and the VCR set up so you can fall back to sleep. What's funny about this situation is that it brings back memories of my youth and particularly a few situations in college where I would have to sneak out in the middle of the night when everyone else was asleep if I wanted to watch VHS porn. Not something I'd thought about in ages, which has been a continual theme in my dream life as of late.
The only other thing of note that happens here is that at one point I'm hanging outside this house and some neighborhood kids start creeping around the periphery. I vaporize one of them with my retro looking laser gun which shoots an electric orange beam. The kids are admittedly pretty what the fuck about this and further explain that they just wanted to play with my new puppy. I have no problem with this but am also sort of amazed that they aren't more upset about me apparently murdering one of their friends. Also, apparently I have a new puppy.
Now the most interesting part of the night. In this situation I'm reliving the classic murder I was apparently involved with in some past incarnation, except that this time I'm a guardian angel type entity. I see the human realm from a distance through a circular portal (always with the circular portals) and to hammer home the angelic vibes I'm apparently existing in a realm of both fluffy white clouds and yellow solar god light. I'm going to interject myself into this scene in the human realm that I think might be disastrous but when I jump through the portal to try and prevent the calamity, I can't. The murder happens anyway despite my intervention and I'm stunned. I'm sitting there phased into human reality, sort of on top of it, and I can't fathom that I warped myself into this lower realm and still couldn't prevent the tragedy.
Just very fascinating stuff. I always looked my existence in this crappy TV show and the residual karmic fallout from this crime on a human level, and here I'm being shown that possibly it was a failure of a higher order. Or more trauma of a higher order. Honestly, I got the vibe there was nothing I could to do prevent this occurrence even as a guardian angel as it were. And possibly that's the narrative thread that compelled me to return to this shit show. As it turns out, the Invisible College history class that I was supposed to be taking was a tad more fascinating than I anticipated. Maybe I shouldn't have spent so much of my life blowing that off.
5/13/2023 -
I'm going to go to church with my schizophrenic brother on Mother's Day the following morning which marks the 2nd time in roughly 20 years I've actually attended a church service which is I'm sure what inspired this night of religion themed weirdness. Here I'm at a church sleepover type thing which is something that I absolutely attended as a tween. We called them lock ins and once again it's a memory that was buried pretty deep in my subconscious. I'm trying to get some sleep but there are all these people trying to fuck with me as I do. At first they're putting fancy bottles of wine by my sleeping self and trying to get me to take a drink. Why? Because they want to get a sample of my DNA. I'm not falling for it.
At one point one of them pulls me out of my sleeping body and onto this roller coaster that I'm only loosely strapped into, meaning that I have to focus to not go flying out of the cart as it traverses the intentionally exaggerated hills, twists, and turns of a standard adrenaline ride. Except that while I'm trying to hold my bearings in this obviously unsafe excursion, I'm also holding a baby in one hand and a bottle of booze in the other. I am barely managing to keep this together and not go flying out of my cart and as I'm going on this wild ride I'm thinking to myself:
"Why? Why would anyone encourage this? What the fuck is wrong with you people!"
In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm yelling this at them in addition to thinking it, which is about as potent a metaphor for how religious people head fuck kids as I could ever come up with. Jesus, I can't even imagine navigating my youthful out of control party phase and also being a father simultaneously. What an absolute disaster that would have been and very much doubt I could have kept myself on the ride.
5/14/2023 -
Same vision all through the night. I am a sentient ball of white light hovering outside of these translucent skyscraper like objects which seem to exist in a realm of negative space. They almost look like white light Tron buildings in a way as I can see the glowing edges and corners of the structures but none of the filled in details. Inside these towering building forms there are these other white light orb entities. The goal of the game is to get them to ascend to the highest floors of these spectral buildings, which is surprisingly complicated and difficult to explain. It's very much like a video game in a way and you have to take all these odd invisible factors into consideration to get them to move upward and not fall. You have to find a path and then subtly coerce the light orbs to traverse the upward trajectory you've laid out for them. Sometimes they have to go down several floors to find the pathway to the top. Variations of this visionary theme go on for hours upon hours and fill up pretty much the entirety of my sleep cycle.
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