6/17/2023 -
Dreams of boredom and isolation. First I'm in this white metal walled party pod type environment and this short very bookish looking looking white woman with thick black rimmed glasses and very curly shoulder length black hair is flirting with me. It's like even though we're in the same room she's sending me a bunch of cutesy/witty e-mail attachments and I'm sitting in a room with like15 other people glued to my tablet. I'm charmed and this leads to her eventually coming over and sitting next to me, which I'm totally into until I realize, wait a minute, my wife's right there, on the other side of the room. So now it's the classic thing where I know I'm being an asshole to the woman I'm leading on and my wife simultaneously. I have some variation of this dream seemingly at least twice a month.
The party subsides and now we realize the white metallic walled party pad situation is actually our accommodations on a submarine. We're bored and this goes on seemingly forever. At one point the legendary and long defunct Seattle spazz core band band The Abodox wants to collaborate with us and we're super excited. In fact, due to set up issues we have to let them know we're going to be 5 minutes late to the jam and we're super uptight about it. Like, make sure you post on the link letting them know we're going to be a few minutes late. We don't want to embarrass ourselves in the eyes of The Abodox, lol. I don't remember this jam actually happening though.
I do know that I continue to be bored and desperately want to get the fuck out of this psychic submarine situation.
I'm stuck there with my brother and finally we find it, the plastic shark on our floor. We almost thought it was never coming but we're finally done. The plastic shark that someone left on our undersea pod floor means this phase of the operation is over.
Tabitha Soren then waltzes in wearing official Sealab command type garb, which is all grey with a very Star Wars Empire type square gray hat. She's looks pretty great honestly but her eye is fucked up. It's not torn out but there's something off about it. It's like it's floating in another reality just outside of ours while not totally in focus. When I contemplate it, I remember all the other episodes of this show I've seen and oh yeah, that thing where her eye got fucked up. I remember that. I then explain to her that I believe I know whatever species we were studying's plan. It's trying to separate us and find the one's that have a certain type of ability while making the others easier to control. That all sounds right but I know I'm not grasping the complexity of what I discovered entirely or how I came to this conclusion. The weirdest part is that the whole time I didn't know I was studying anything. I was just bored out of my goddamn mind. That metaphor tracks.
6/18/2023 -
This would be a classic example of the "it's not that you don't remember, it's that you can't understand" principle as I pull out of this dream state and well, I'll try to describe it the best I can. I'm told that:
"You're a piglet now."
And with that something shifts. I start to pull out of the vision but what am I pulling out of exactly? It's like a castle with thick concrete walls that represent a body filled with cosmic stardust and transcendent sounds. There is now a cutesy cartoon piglet that represents the heart of this otherworldly sonic entity but the rest is a form of life not remotely of this world and again, held together by sentient sound. Obviously I can't entirely describe how strange this is but I will say that I immediately knew I wouldn't be able to convert it into any type of comprehensible human narrative. I knew that immediately so I didn't even try. I'm also a bit disturbed by the piglet thing and so they explain to me that it represents me getting more into video work, which has been the plan for a while. I do in fact excel in a lot of creative shit already I suppose.
Next I have this amazingly disturbing dream. I'm getting fired from my job and it's an automated process that's firing me. They have a recording of me talking about how I'm going to work on this particular project on a certain day but when they scanned my computer they could find no evidence that I worked on that project that day. I'm obviously pretty pissed and confused by this but the more I contemplate it, the more I realize that this incident they're firing me for happened more than 2 years in the past.
So obviously they didn't care and more obviously, they want to lay me off but are looking for excuses to fire me rather than payout the unemployment I'm due. I just got fired by AI for no other reason than that the company didn't want to pay out my unemployment claim. So disturbing and sadly, in the dream this was happening at a company I used to work for and that company would in fact pull shit like this. They'd put people on indefinite administrative leave and then dig through their computer to find a reason to let them go and deny their unemployment claims. They did this to 2 people I worked with, 1 who was a drug addict (who eventually won his unemployment claim btw) and the other who was possibly riding an repetitive stress L & I claim a bit too hard. The fact that shit like this would be automated by AI in the future seems inevitable, and creepy as fuck.
Now I'm in the high rise complex I often find myself visiting in my dream life but this time since I'm here I'm like:
"I'm going to go out of my way to enjoy this experience this time."
And so I make a point of wandering around and exploring as much as possible. It's all this upscale surrealist slightly sci fi downtown urban extravagance. I eventually enter this bright blue colored hallway with a super fancy blue and white tile style elevator terminal and here's where it gets freaky. The impressiveness of the architecture here causes me to go lucid. I suddenly realize that I don't live in swanky high rise complex and also, wow, this complex seems more real than real somehow. I know that this is because I'm dreaming and simultaneously I don't care. A part of me wants to keep exploring and so I don't give a fuck that I'm dreaming because I want to be lost in the dream.
But I also have to know and so I do the thing where I phase my hand through the wall. It gives a mild amount of resistance but then yep, my hand goes right through solid matter. I do not remember anything that happens after this and I'm pretty sure I just immediately wake up.
Again, it's like I simply did not want to know that I was dreaming and when I get back under I'm in the Invisible College. I'm sitting in on the start of this class and it's almost like an advanced council of teachers or something rather than a class. The metaphor here is pretty obvious honestly. Even if you're lucid, it doesn't mean you're not curious as to what's going on in the dream. Possibly you might not want to embrace the lucidity out of curiosity alone. All fairly profound metaphors for going lucid in the dream that is our lives and how it might not always be enough if you're sufficiently lost or engaged in the illusion. What's important in this class though is that I know I don't have to sit through whatever's about to happen and so I bail with my pug, who's there for some reason. I don't have a leash for him so I put him in this like wheeled baggage carrier contraption to wheel him around.
I head back to the high rise scenario and resume my wandering. This time I want to find my pad so I can take a nap, which is harder than I was expecting. In fact, I eventually find the elevator only to realize that fuck, that's an elevator to floors 10-59 and my place is on the 6th floor so I have to find the other one, which is a few floors down. Quite a while later and I finally find it but the main thing is my god is my dog adorable getting carted around in this grocery/luggage cart thing. Just off the charts adorbs.
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